Have Your Say Discussion Forum



A vitally important place to air your emotions, how you feel and what you think!

The F4J Have Your Say area is simply a place for everyone where you get the Freedom, Peace, Love and Respect to share what's going on for you.

There is no right or wrong about what you say or how you say it —
the main thing is you let it out!

So have your say, vent your spleen, say your peace, let your feelings, emotions and thoughts run free as opposed to bottling it up causing ill health in you and for others.

Chances are there is somebody relating to exactly what's happening or of concern to you. What you say may very well help others as well as yourself. Once we all realise we are not alone and we are all in this together in one form or another, as living men and women with fundamentally the same psychological and biological structure, a great sense of relief and peace can come from this knowing.

However, the only condition in this forum is we ask you not to identify family members by their true names. Not because of man made rules, fear or ignorance, but purely based on respect for yourself, your family and reasons of higher good, else you're free to let loose.

This Have Your Say section is an open forum and not censored as such giving you the freedom to let rip with whatever's on your mind.

So with all that out of the way.... Go straight to writing a comment now

    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Next>351 - 302 Comments... +Add Yours ...Over 246,369 views
    They're not my kids - CSA unfair - By:Mrs Very Annoyed from Queensland, Australia on April 1, 2017 @ 11:43 am
    I just received notification from the CSA that they require my business' financial records to ascertain my husband's involvement. This is a breach of my privacy as an Australian citizen and apparently I can't do anything about it. Seeking legal advice today, and will fight it to the end. CSA won't speak to me, yet is making demands for my documents via my husband. This is so not on!
    350. Alienation - By:Steve from Wa, Australia on March 28, 2017 @ 10:10 pm
    Hi Guys,

    I am sorry to hear so many stories of pain and misery.. It is very dismaying to hear that the system which is supposed to protect children, is the very system which is enabling the abuse.

    I, like so many of you am unable to communicate in anyway with the people I care most about.. For me, it is worse than bereavement, as I know everyday that they are alive and well. To say I miss talking with them, would be a vast understatement...

    As I am running out of money, I will shortly be self representing:/

    I wondered if anyone would be able to help with templates of affidavits, etc

    Any help, or guidance will be greatly appreciated

    Stay strong fellas, as our children will one day need our strength

    Steve
    Infinite hell - By:Fuck Australia from WA, Australia on March 28, 2017 @ 10:10 pm
    They only want your children for taxes and corpse for body parts
    Ph - By:Simon from Vic, Auschwitz on March 21, 2017 @ 12:18 pm
    Ph not for us guys. Voted for her ,, hunch & other ind. all useless comrades. They all sound good before,, once elected their big words gone. It's just all us little fellas gotta stick together nobody's gonna save us
    One nation to scrap csa altogether - By:Scott from Qld, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:29 pm
    As Lenny had mentioned and if perhaps anyone was to stand up for what's fair and right and really listen to us fathers out there who seem to b ringing all the same tune if not very similar. I know SHE is a politician and not many politicians could b trusted these days she does seem to have a voice and gotten further then many would have imagined. Perhaps she is understanding of the injustices that are goin on with fathers and families these days and the one whom could bring about change? I too have been harassed by csa and accused of earning more then I had over the year in question, whilst being alienated from my 4yo daughter unjustly and soon to have another dvo placed against me by the mother who cares only for herself and taking advantage of the screwed up system in place and she along with the courts don't seem to care at all about a meaningful relationship between my daughter and I. Surely we can all come together and appeal to her to b our voice? She certainly would have a very high percentage of backers goin by all the men out there and in this forum. I'm certain the numbers are higher then anyone would imagine and that don't and haven't come forward. If we don't come together we stand no chance of being heard and having change. Enough is enough!
    Why bother - By:Thom from NSW, Oz on April 23, 2017 @ 5:27 am
    Why do we even bother going to court when it never benefits us or our kids in the end? Everyone ends up stressed (don't care about ex bitch being stressed just kids and us men) and fathers end up broke. The only ones who profit are lawyers and ex bitches
    Long way to go - By:Paul from Q, Aust on April 23, 2017 @ 5:28 am
    Gents, im afraid to say that nothing is going to change any time soon. If you are a heterosexual, Anglo-Saxon, separated father with a fixed income you are now officially one the most down-trodden, harassed, worthless individuals that grace this earth. Even worse, if you dare to bug out and quit your career you now carry the label 'dead-beat dad'. Never mind that you did it to preserve your sanity or you possibly experienced a break-down or worse, no-one except you actually cares.
    The only thing that has maintained my sanity is tomalways think what is best for my kids. Not easy to do when you testicles are in a vice and the ex-wife is turning the screw, but worth it in the end.
    I'm back in court tomorrow fighting for parenting orders. The vile little serpent ensured that everything that I had built is gone via a ridiculously managed property settlement. Only the lawyers benefited out of the entire two year process ( STO LAW and Leisa Toomey scored $110,000), and the halfwit judge swept my application for parenting orders under the carpet.
    Tonight I spent another two hours doing a court imposed anger management course, completely mind-numbing, and next Wednesday I'll wander off to community service for the day...just 120 hours to go.
    The message here...don't wait for this shit to happen to you, spend a long time planning your escape and make sure that you have your shit in a pile. The odds are, your ex will behave like mine and thousands of others and the system will encourage them to taking a large thorny object and shove it deep into your arse....then you'll know your fucked.
    Where to move - By:Jag from SA, Australia on March 22, 2017 @ 1:48 pm
    Can any gents help me? I wanna know what countries don't have csa agreement with Australia?? Like if I move to America can csa still find me and take my money? What about Philippines? Thailand? England?
    any help appreciated
    Thx
    Child Support contacts - By:Don from nsw, australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:33 pm
    Why stop at Kathryn Campbell, Below are some others all of which share the same phone number and postal address. Each is responsible for their faulty and biased actions.
    Deputy Secretary-payments reform Mr John Murphy
    Deputy Secretary-Service Delivery Operations Mr Barry Jackson
    Deputy Secretary-Program Design Dr Jill Charker
    Deputy Secretary-Enabling Services Mr Jonathan Hutson
    Deputy Secretary-Integrity and Information Ms Malisa Golightly

    Sorry but that last one just gave me the best laugh in a while.. Not enough of one and too much of the other.

    By:Gsm from Qld, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:33 pm
    Kathryn Campbell CSC

    POSTAL ADDRESS
    PO Box 7788 Canberra Business Centre ACT 2610
    TELEPHONE
    (02) 6155 7788

    If you want to inform this feminist of the standout job shes doing destroying people's lives fire away
    Kathryn Campbell/Sunrise - By:Gsm from Qld, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 3:01 pm
    Kathryn Campbell, minister for feminism, advocater of suicide and domestic violence. Who would be interested in picketing the Sunrise window with signs until they got us in for a chat?
    340. Help re earning an income... - By:Laurie from Qld, Australia on February 17, 2017 @ 4:15 am
    Hello. I've read somewhere on here someone's experience re protecting their wife's income from the CSA but I can't find it again. Can someone please help me?

    My husband pays child maintenance for a child his ex wife is collecting money for. What is the best way to protect my income & assets from the CSA? We've been advised to set up a Family Trust but I can't find info re whether or not we should set up a Company or each work under our own ABN with monies going into the Trust.

    Anyone help me please?

    Regards
    Laurie

    Not all women are evil - By:Laurie from Qld, Australia on February 17, 2017 @ 4:15 am
    Hey fellahs. I've been reading your posts and it's true that there are women who have treated you worse than dogs. Truth is, not all women are like that so please don't tar us all with the same brush. Please don't turn this site into a hate fest even though I know you're in great pain. It was two men who treated me cruelly yet I know not all men are like them. There are women like Melanie who want to help men and women who are abused by the other & the system - she's not the "dog that bit you" so please, don't tar us all with the hatred that should only be directed at the specific women who hurt you. Such women are traitors to their own kind - they betray us good women as well.
    Only the first one counts - By:FuckedUpBigTime from NSW, Australia on April 20, 2017 @ 5:25 am
    Did you realise only the first mother of your child/ren counts? Only the kid/s with her matter to csa?
    If you want to have any with your current wife you better be a fucking billionaire because csa will let them go without even when your ex remarries and has 4 more kids because the first one/s are the only one that counts
    It Affects everyone - By:Simone from WA, Australia on April 15, 2017 @ 1:02 pm

    Hi to your great dads who have not been given the chance to rebute any accusations that herself has offered. I am a Mother of a son who was issued with as vro which was unfounded and was unable to refute any of what was said in the Court because of the lies and innuendos by his ex. I know for a fact that his ex had defrauded the business of many thousands of dollars, she even told me so, and said she had a plan to get rid of her husband. since this time as a grandparent my husband and I have not been able to see our grandchildren for the past 11 months, and even though I used my son's phone, he was issued with a warrant, even though I had made a statement to the Police it was me who wrote the message to the grandies. It appears that as grandparents we are not allowed to see the grandies unless we (my husband and I), go to Court and spend several dollars and lawyers to have an Order for us to see the children. As pensioners and with living in a rural country town, distance is another factor, however it appears that we are on our own, and we will have to wait until the children are at an age they can choose to see us. It is terrible breach of respect and honesty towards grandparents, and I believe that if any of you have parents and grandparents, for goodness sake read all the convoluted Family Court brochures and do not under any circumstances try and contact any of the grandies if it is for your son, because the grandparents are the third party and the ex will contact the Police to take out a warrant for your son's arrest, this is the truth, we have had this happen twice. Recently in the media, there is too much advertised about how easy it is to take out a VRO, even to the extent from the Police point of view, a woman can get a VRO for the word "fear". Our son has been through the greatest hell one could imagine, but reading many of your stories, I believe you feel the same way. Don't you think it is time that us parents, grandparents started an "awareness campaign" to bring about justice for the MEN. REMEMBER IT TOOK TWO PEOPLE TO HAVE CHILDREN, why do these women demand and demand what they say is their rights, when they are the mental abusers and mental diminishes of the children, how they can manipulate the children to their own gains and lie and want all the assets and then claim huge assistance from the government and other agencies. I am incensed as to where the SYSTEM will go, but it is time for all to stand and voice their opinions. Remember how easy it is to say DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FOR WOMEN what about DOMESTIC VIOLENCE FOR MEN. Make a stand you guys, ask for help from the proper authorities, then if they don't help, go to the newspapers, radio and other media outlets, even FACEBOOK.
    I am concerned as a Mother and Grandparent that our children and grandchildren will become more and more hardened by society and therefore lose their ability to think clearly with respect and honesty.
    I rest my case.
    A loving Mother and Grandparent.
    Fuck this shit - By:Harry from NSW, AU on March 22, 2017 @ 1:48 pm
    Everyone saying the courts are BIASED are correct. It ain't worth it!!!!!!
    IF I GOTTA GO BACK TO COURT ONE MORE TIME IMMA KILL MYSELF (no jks)
    Ranting & raving - By:Brick from Vic, Aus on March 23, 2017 @ 12:28 pm
    We can rant & rave about the injustice of the Family Court system, as much as we want - it achieves nothing positive and merely provides those Aholes in the (in)Justice System to point a finger and say "point proven, how can you allow someone who rants like that near a child .... & he's ranting about the effect on him, not on the children ..."

    No recognition is given to the fact the we are driven insane by the injustice of Australian Family Law, and that, where we start out as rational human beings, 3 years of court cases, where the judge / magistrate immediately accepts the wildest unsubstantiated accusations, based on the mere allegation of a woman (the supposed "victim"), will eventually drive anyone out of their mind.

    Screaming & shouting doesn't work & is counterproductive.

    Pointing out the injustice, is like farting in the wind

    For the past 4 years I have been used as a punching bag, where I'm taking constant blows, & can't raise my hands in defence, because that's what they're hoping for - to give substance to their accusations & they can say "I told you so"

    Well, my family has been destroyed, my children, whom I've always loved with all my heart, have been convinced that I'm a monster in disguise, and my love (of more than 10 yrs) was merely a cover or facade, while I was waiting to abuse them - she got this right with an "interim" IVO, which lasted for 3.5 years and was due to carry on for another 5, and where, on final Appeal, the County Court Judge said that there was never any reason for the Order in the first place.

    Having isolated me from my children, she then refused to allow them contact with any of "my" side of their family ..... for 4 years, while she pumped their minds full of poison!!!

    Well, my family is destroyed & I have been badly hurt & I want to strike out ..... at who, though, cause the (in)justice system is faceless, with each individual saying that they're just doing their job & refusing to accept responsibility for the damage

    Well, I'm on the point of assigning responsibility - ANYBODY who is part of the system!!!!

    I tried talking & reasoning, it doesn't help.

    An eye for an eye, is what I believe - this whole, so called, "civilised" process, is corrupt and designed to hurt men (and, by so doing, destroy the lives of children)
    Well done everyone!! (on the CSA banner) - By:SG66 from WA, Australia on April 20, 2017 @ 5:26 am
    Well done everyone!!

    Great advice Neil thank's mate..

    Will please mate if you need a chat and to be able to vent some of the shit your going through call me
    0419926521 more than happy mate to help.
    Remember bud you are not alone.

    My F'n Demon just tried to have me arrested again for a text that my Mother (the kids Grandmother) send my x 4 kids on my phone..
    Keep up the fight Will, we are here for you mate.

    DJ great idea mate I'm onto them too, keep up the fight mate.

    Remember everyone if you need a chat about anything call me or text me and I will get back to you.

    It's only together that we will have a voice for change...

    Be strong everyone...

    Shane
    Your killing us and we know you know it! - By:SG66 from WA, Australia on April 20, 2017 @ 5:27 am
    Hay everyone
    copy of the email to the minister for Human (Sacrifice) resources

    Your killing us and we know you know you are!!

    Minister Alan,

    You need to change your title to Minister for Human Suicides Mate!!

    This disgusting horrible system/industry that you have created through what you do and the Industry of PARENTAL ALIENATION through the so called "family court" is killing many many people.
    You look like quite a bright man however I'm sure that you have either been blinded or held back by the ones making the money from this atrocious system/industry to keep your mouth shut.
    If I can please ask you to grow some balls and help fix this one sided shit system or stand the hell down and let someone else fix it.
    HUMAN SERVICES --- BULL SHIT MATE
    GROW UP AND REALLY TRY TO HELP WILL YOU!!
    OR OPEN THE FUNERAL PARLOR AND MAKE MORE MONEY AT THE EXPENSE OF OUR CHILDREN AND THE ALIENATED PARENT..
    Your CSA should stand for Child Separation and Abuse ( or Alienation of parents) not Child support that's F'n just bullshit.!!!!

    So resign or f'n help mate.

    Shane
    Perth WA

    Fuck'm send one too will ya!!
    Hay Mates -- Keep up the fight - By:SG 66 from Wa, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:42 pm
    Hay Michael
    Stay strong mate.
    Do what you can for you!! Mate your kids will find out the truth and come back from the dark side.
    We have all seen this so many times they always come back to the right side.
    Just give them all the love you can when you do see them and they know mate who is the victim in what happened to you, me and all the other poor buggers out there, they know.
    Sometimes it takes a bit of reprogramming but they do know the truth deep down mate, deep down they do.
    They feel your love and your protection and they do know you will always be there for them.
    We still have to nurcher our little ones into functioning loving humans.
    You need to make and keep them close as you can when you see them to fend off the poison but you can with your love mate.
    Your kids love you you know that.
    This fuck'n horrible system/industry is designed or has been to make you a Monster.
    You know who you are!!
    It's time to make a stand.
    I've started
    I've had calls back from the CSA and are so called human resources social worker department asking after my email I sent to them if I was suicidal and They seem to be disappointed because I wasn't.
    Stand up mate turn that Mad As Hell Anger to a positive for the poor baste reds that are fighting the Demond's now and in the future.
    Fuck'm stand up.
    Remember the CSA stands for Child Seperation and Abuse
    They have Absolutly no idea and don't care about what they do to anyone.(kids included.
    The family abuse court is also under the system/ management.
    As we all know.
    Look out I'm coming !! Who's with me??

    Shane
    0419926521
    Perth
    Call me for a chat mates if you need a boost.
    Stay Strong, Be mad as hell!!
    2017 - By:Michael from NSW, AUSTRALIA on March 22, 2017 @ 1:48 pm
    Next year I am giving up fighting and going to make a life for when my kids are older.
    If I keep fighting I will have nothing and I will be nothing but depressed and broke. My kids are 8, and 5. I've been fighting for 3.5 years, and getting nowhere. I currently have no access. In a few years, my eldest might want to live with me tho and can decide for himself, without my ex's influence.
    Ive come to the conclusion that there is no sense in fighting, and wasting my money. I will use it to make a life for me, and my kids.
    330. Fight hard -- Stay strong - By:SG66 from WA, Australia on January 8, 2017 @ 11:02 pm
    Steve mate were we married to the same Demon??
    I got the VRO thing couldn't see my 4 kids at Christmas.,
    She never worked a day but was more than happy to give give her father a heap of it and buy him a car.
    I got the VRO on our 16th wedding anniversary but just after she transferred all the money from the joint account into an account in her own name.

    My youngest is only 4 and I know I have a huge fight still to come with this deceitful Demon.

    We all know the system/industry is not there to help the Dad's.
    All the best to everyone for 2017

    Be strong and fight on Hard

    Shane

    Perth
    Untouchable - By:Steve from WA, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:45 pm
    So the usual expected drama. Went to pick up the kids at the agreed time on xmas eve. Was told by the mum to go away and come back in a few hours. Then was expected to bring them back earlier on xmas day. All along with some ridiculous heated discussion from the ex. This drama is a way of life for her. 5 more years of this, my kids are all 18 then her power dissapears. Imagine the power she must feel. It has been 5 years since our split, since she cheated, planned the whole seperation well in advance, how she lied to everyone, lied to police, lied in court to take out a VRO. Imagine feeling like you could get away with anything. Decide when the kids see their dad or not. Cancel visits (yes dads get visits whilst mums get to still live with their kids). It must have been like winning lotto. Not working hardly a day in her life. Wonder around with a Gloria Jeans cup in her hand while I am am working hard for the family. Instead of working herself, has too much time to think insecure thoughts etc. Plan a seperation, cheat, get the 6 bed house, contents, car, money, kids, dog. Husband out with nothing, followed by a VRO. Then comes the playing god when he can see the kids. The abuse by the boyfriends of her from day 1 of you leaving. Being punched in the head in front of your kids. But wait can a male get a VRO when actual not imagined events have happened. NO. Violence in front of kids, death threats, threats to visit my home yet I do not get a VRO out on her. Oh my god the power she must feel. She can do no wrong. She do anything and get away with it. I will end up leaving Australia purely because of this being ok with our government departments. When my kids are 18 the powere dissapears from that woman. SHe will be left wondering what to do now she still has no reasonable job, she did not actually contribute to her kids financially, she effectively abused her children by controlling contact with their dad. This story and ones like it play out day after day after day to endless numbers of unsuspecting good dads. You have no idea what is going to hit you. People that plan this shit are pure evil. Karma will come for them.
    Stay STRONG everyone!! - By:SG66 from WA, Australia on January 17, 2017 @ 11:07 am
    I know it's a really shit time of year.(Call or text me if you need a chat or a venting session over Christmas, my number is below, happy to chat.)
    I'm not able to see my 4 young kids at Christmas but we will have our own Christmas when I see them.(under supervision because of the vexatious X)
    Stand up and change your pain to a positive!!
    Be mad as fuck'n hell, I am however I'm using my pain and grief to ruffle the feathers of the establishment (the powers that be)
    So far after my emails to the minister (and other politicians, Pauline Hanson's is below) for so called human services I've had a councilor call and someone from the CSA.
    Now I'm told I'm getting a call from the Attorney Generals office to discuss my concerns.
    All I did was spell out the truth to them and what they are doing to us as fathers and parents and the child abuse that they are creating and forcing onto our innocent children.
    Copy here of what I sent

    Your killing us faster than the road toll!!!

    Hi Pauline

    Can’t believe the family court system and the court system in general and how a woman (wife) can steal all your money and cover it up with a VRO and then play the system with lies and manipulation.

    It’s a long story but to say my 4 young kids are pawns and weapons used to try to drive me to suicide I’m sure is her hope to cover up what she did.

    The lawyers say there is nothing you can do as she got the VRO first. That ruined my business and my life (as I working from a home office).

    Just found out in WA you can get a VRO now if you have a fear of someone. Don’t need proof.

    I managed to get my kids off the VRO but she is still on it and now she has made application to the family court of a notice of child abuse or family violence. Never was any violence.

    I cannot believe the lies and the twisted half truths that she can say and get away with it.

    What can someone do to help me and all the other poor men that are killing themselves because of this system.

    There are some sites like this but it’s mainly venting about the system .

    http://www.f4joz.com/

    Please help us Pauline

    Shane from Perth

    0419 926 521

    In the name of the father? - By:Taylor J. from Nsw, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:47 pm
    I just been told that my child will never get my surname and prolly never live with me not even shared care arangement. What happened to in the name of the father? Every lawyer say the same thing wich is if I want my only child to have my surname it basically ain't gunna happen unless the mother agrees and they r sure she ain't ever gunna agree.
    Why do fathers always gotta pay for children we get refused access to and no say in the life or name of? Huh? Some1 answer me that cos I don't fucking understand it
    Fuck it all - By:Ryan from Qld, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:47 pm
    Fuck it all
    Fuck them all
    Fuck CSA
    Fuck the courts
    Fuck my ex
    Fuck the judge
    Fuck the lawyers
    Fuck Having a life
    Fuck my mental health
    Fuck it all
    That's it. I'm done. - By:Distraught father from Nsw , Aust. on March 19, 2017 @ 2:47 pm
    It's that time of year again when the sharks (CSA and ex wives) hunt us fathers down for cash, we get reminded that we don't matter, we get reminded that next year won't be any better and we'll prolly never own a house because the sharks and lawyers and courts don't care about us. Everyone is just after our cash.
    Can't get nowhere in life - By:Patrick from WA, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:48 pm
    Thanks to CSA I can't get nowhere in life. Job doesn't pay good enugh to survive on and pay child support but nobody gives a fuck. Can't do further study to get a better job because that would mean earning less temporarly and CSA ain't having any of that shit. Rent and living cost stays the same but money would be less but that don't matter to these fuckers.
    Shoulda never paid these fuckers to start with. I'm locked in for eternity and can't do fucking shit to better my life. Fuckers.
    Fuck'm, the thieving retarded bastards. - By:SG from WA, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:49 pm
    TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF!!

    What all the people in this twisted disgusting system need to remember is its an "industry".And no one gives a fuck if you don't get to see your kids and you starve to death.
    The system still makes the money.

    We have all been played like suckers for ever with this corrupt shit.It's time to wake up people, there is no God, it's all bllshit, yes that's right, all of it is bullshit and no one gives a shit..
    Perhaps it's time for a revolt
    How many gov jobs are created here for people that should be in full time care?? Their a bunch of under educated
    FUCK WHITS!!
    We would all agree I'm sure that they would be unemployable in the real world, if you have any doubt about that just go to a Centerlink and have a look at the staff thats what your dealing with at the C__t's S__t's and Arsholes!!!
    D,C"s all round for sure, it looks like an adult day care center for the retarded.
    I've been screwed from the pointy end of the pineapple and she is now going to go for spousal maintenance even though I'm not working. She can make up any crapp she wants and they believe her. She had a VRO taken out to remove me from the home/home office destroyed the bus we had and forced me into taking a small % of our assets.
    Who ever gets the VRO first wins!!
    That what the Fuck'n useless lawyers say anyway.
    Tell them to AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
    SG Perth
    ONE NATION"S TO SCRAP CSA ALTOGETHER" - By:lenny from N.T., Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:50 pm
    G'day you mob out there, i just read "One Nations" Proposed child support Policies, i would recommend you take the time to read them, i don't trust anyone anymore myself after years of abuse a lot at the hands of "CSA!" but i was slightly encouraged by what i read ... if what they are proposing comes to fruition then things will be a lot better, we live in hope, have a read"!
    Becuase we are male - By:DM from WA, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:50 pm
    The reason this will never change is because we are male.
    It is an unfortunate fact. I am not a woman hater or sexist, I love women. The fact is though men will always be the expendable people in society, the ones never taken seriously if they are victims of domestic violence. No one ever believes a man. A woman accuses a man and there will be police, VRO's handed out no problem. I applied for a VRO after being puched in the head in fornt of my kids, not fighting back, not saying anthing back. No VRO granted. SOme years ago at seperation, the ex makes up some story, bang VRO on me. I wouldn't hurt a fly, never hurt anyone in my life. In fact she was the only violent one in our marriage.
    Men of Australia, we are screwed.You will be forced to see your kids very little at the immense power put in the hands of your ex. You will be broke by doing the right thing and paying child support. You will watch her think she is winning by going on holidays, barely working, keeping you poor whilst contributing little herself to the kids upbringing.
    But ask yourself, who would you rather be. The stand up citizen with morals, work ethic, standards or the sneaky cheating shallow being.
    Smile because you are doing the right things that count.
    Karma is a real thing and it started a while ago now for me and it keeps getting better for the things that really count. Dad and his kids.
    320. Fight for what is right! - By:Paul Siegman from Victoria , Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:50 pm
    Why can't everyone help fix this! I am loosing grip of my home, they are taking so much!
    Everyone knows and agrees the whole system requires a total update.
    So who is going to disagree with 80% of Australia? It is wrong! It must be made right, True and Just! Get together Australia!!!
    Thank you Child Support Agency !!!! - By:John from WA, Australia on April 20, 2017 @ 5:28 am
    Thank you Child Support for taking all my savings!
    Thank you Child Support for taking so much money out of my salary I have little to live on and support myself.
    Thank you Child Support for giving all my money to a woman I have spoken to or had contact with for 19 years
    Thank you Child Support for ignoring my plead to not take my money because my company is making people redundant in December 2016...but you took all the money anyhow!
    Thank you Child Support for not realising that the lady you are giving all my money too is rich, whilst I'm living week to week.
    Thank you Child Support for not understanding the WA economy and how we have so may people unemployed (including me in 2 weeks)that we are struggling to cope and this will only drive up the crime rate when men are subject to having NO Money and No Job, again! Thank you for your disregard for WA Men paying Child support.
    Thank you Child Support for leaving me on HOLD for 25 mins wh Just curious, did you put down the telephone and walk up to your nearest lunchbar and have lunch and leave me on the other end, just waiting, waiting, waiting....?
    Thank you Child Support for Killing My Brothers, my Aussie brothers who I'm sure ha enough of your bullshit and harassment and had taken there own lives because of mindless people like yourself. If I could have stopped this I would of, but now we have men in this country who have died because of your government department.

    Australia is a Beautiful Country, but its Government agencies like the CSA/Centrelink that make this country hard to live...
    Protection / DV Orders - By:Paul from QLD, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:53 pm
    I have said this before in other forums however I want to repeat it as this is the most important lesson that I've learnt during the what has been a horrendous three years since I left my wife.... Whatever you do, do not let the Police slap a Protection Order (more commonly termed DV Order) on you without putting up a fight. I would go so far as to say that you should reserve whatever resources that you have to fight them. The lawyers convince women to get one straight away as magistrates love them. It paints you as a manipulative and aggressive low-life, regardless of the facts. Your ex-partner will use the Protection Order to make your life as difficult as she possibly can. Any public office will treat you like a dangerous criminal. The kids school will ostracise you and in general you will be beaten and down-trodden. I narrowly avoided a criminal conviction for dropping my sons school clothes off and asking his mother about his schooling in an innocuous email. The point is, a breach is a breach, it doesn't matter what you did or how you did it.
    Our governments are too weak to fix the underlying issue which is a fundamentally useless education system, so they pander to the likes of Rosie Batty by locking innocent men away.
    So as I said, save your pennies for this battle, get the best lawyer that you can, shut your mouth and appear to behave like the dickless wonder that the world wants you to be. It might just work.
    Jeremy - By:Damon from NSW, AUS. on March 16, 2017 @ 3:50 am
    Jeremy,
    Get a work transfer overseas then stay there. Your family can't argue that you need a job to survive.
    No going back now - By:Jeremy from New south wales, Australia on March 16, 2017 @ 3:50 am
    My family interfered so much in and out of court stuff and encouraged me to badmouth my ex and try to scare her into settling out of court. There's no going back from it all. I said/did some terible things. So much hatred between us now. Mostly my fault.
    There's no way I would be able to represent myself in court again. I did that twice and I'd rather jump off a tall building than do that again
    Access - By:DM from WA, Australia on November 14, 2016 @ 1:10 am
    Tyson, it is very common to have the ex control the situation. My ex also controlled all contact with my kids. I had 1 call a week if I was lucky on speaker, so anyone there could listen in to a dads converstion with his own kids. That is mum, new boyfriend, visitors, whoever was there at the time.
    I find it hard to comprehend how a parent could even think like that and truly believe some people should never have children. This is certainly not the way I wanted my kids to be brought up to think it is ok to not contact a parent. I would have brought my kids up very differently.
    The thing is most of us dads would actually do the right thing if the situation was reversed and the kids lived with us. Even if we were cheated on and the marriae ended by her which it was in my case, I would still make sure the kids were encouraged and free to contact their mum at anytime.
    Now my kids are getting older and I have come a long way they stay over and their mum has always been free to have contact with them.
    I was always told by people and didn't believe it, to bide my time, keep doing the right things, keep fighting for my kids and the kids will gravitate towards you.
    This has actuallyhappened and I would not have believed it ever could. I now have some live every second weekend and some every second week by their choice. One is thinking of moving in full time.
    The kids do see things for what they are as they grow up.
    My mantra though is.... keep doing the right things, never bag the ex.
    It has been hard in the past and I have said some dumb things out of frustration but it is not fair on the kids and they will remember when they are older.
    Legal fees - By:DM from WA, Australia on December 15, 2016 @ 12:54 pm
    My family court finished quite a while ago. I only really started getting any significant progress when representing myself. I had 3 different lawyers, generally they don't listen to you, they want to prolong the conflict as they make money from every letter, every email and every phone call.
    I took annual leave before each court appearance, studied and organised myself totally. Then went in feeling confident and had answers ready for most scenarios.
    I strongly suggest this. TO be able to do this however you need to have got eveything under control, be stable and be doing all the right things. No self sabotaging by saying or doing anything silly. Keep your head down, jump through whatever hoops are put in front of you. Yes it sucks but be the better person and deal with it calmly and with well thought out response.
    Never reply to an email or text from your ex too quickly as your emotion will dictate mostly what you write back rather than a well condidered response.
    Rise above it all, be polite, keep going.
    You do not need a lawyer.
    Legal fees killing me - By:Jeremy from New south wales, Australia on March 16, 2017 @ 3:50 am
    Child support and legal fees (especially legal fees!) are killing me. I'm so close to paying off my legal fees but I fear they're about to start building up again.
    I don't want to go back to court again (last time was told to come back when things have changed significantly) but the ball-clencher is my family. They want me to fight and not stop fighting until I get my child. I lied and told them my application was rejected but my father wished to see papers so I used the same as last time but photoshopped parts of it to make it look legit. He took it to a lawyer who said he had no idea about it.
    I'm very angry at the betrayal and interference when he has pushed me into this.
    Can someone please tell me how to get him and my family to back off?
    Can they apply to court instead? I don't want any part of it. I'm scared shittless that I'll go into massive debt with all of this. Last time I had to take time off work because of the stress. I don't want to do that again. It's so hard I want to die.

    Please anyone help me get them to stop pushing me and let me live a calm life for a while at least
    child support and legal fees - By:Tysonn Loughran from QLD, Australia on April 15, 2017 @ 12:45 pm
    an ex who refuses to let me speak to my more than once a week for 5 minutes. i can only afford to see him twice a year and even then all visits are supervised. i drove 18 hours last christmas to spend two hours with my son (supervised by ex and her best friend). then drove all the way back to QLD from Victoria which is where she has taken him. i pay child support for a child support for my son who i don't see or have any decisions in his life. i can;t afford child support and i can;t afford legal fees. its been 2 and half years and still no progress. my ex said that maybe at the end of the year i can talk to him twice a week. Im his god dam daddy!! i recently just found out that my ex has a new boyfriend and i heard my son call him daddy when i skyped him. my ex works for a legal firm in family law and has access to everything that i don't. i don't have the advantage that she does. i have seen so many different lawyers and its has cost me thousands of dollars just to get to the mediation stage. i can't do this anymore, she says that my sons doesn't remember me, thats why i can inly call once per week for the past year as she thinks its in my sons best interest. please help me, i can;t afford to do anything anymore. my life is controlled by her!
    Child support payments - By:Sarry from ACT, Australia on March 23, 2017 @ 12:31 pm
    Hi all,

    I actually wasn't aware of the impact that child support has on the fathers until being with my partner. Now I'm all for supporting your children but when it is $800 a month and the mother is refusing to work and perfectly capable to it is so frustrating and it weighs on us financially! They had an agreement where he would pay the school fees as child support and so he did in one lump sum of the first term and then she claimed he isn't paying etc.

    The government doesn't care what debts we have to pay now and the more money he makes the more child support he pays and the more she just chooses not to work. It doesn't make him want to move up in the work force sometimes for this reason...

    I fully support father4jusice and think that fathers should most certainly have equal rights to mothers like maternity leave time and the right to support their children the way they want! There children the way they wish to and for those who don't want to have anything to do with their child, should be treated the SAME way as the women who want the same thing and leave their child at the hospital or give them up for adoption or abort them even!

    If I was a child of diveroce I would hate getting money from someone who was forced to and didn't want to don't anyway!
    310. csa cockheads - By:mick from nsw, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:56 pm
    another intersting conversation with a deadshit from change of assesment.Have just received a reply from the ex regardind my change of assesment as my son who is 16 is working full time.She has the option to still receive money from me her financial statement was full of lies and guess what the case officer said she is not a liar.MY REPLY WAS I WAS MARRIED TO THE BITCH FOR 20 YEARS HOW WOULD U KNOW FROM A BIT OF PAPER WORK.im sure im screwed fuck csa ill go sub contract and still give my son a loving environment up yours csa your organisation is a FUCKEN JOKE maybe employ some males so u arent so bias
    Become female - By:George from Nsw, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:56 pm
    Any men considering court pls DON'T do anything until you have a sex change first or you'll be up s*** creek w/o a paddle. Being serious
    Hi leo - By:Lewis from Nsw, Australia on November 1, 2016 @ 11:47 am
    Hi Leo
    Was your DNA test a legal one? If not then get a court ordered legal DNA test asap. If it was a legal one then I'm afraid you're fucked mate. She's well and truly screwed you over. A judge won't order another test so you'd be best cutting your losses and moving on.

    You could always do a DIY kit test yourself or forge your own negative results on the computer. I know a guy who did this to get ppl off his back about not paying child support. He just showed them his test results saying it wasn't his kid and they backed right off. He's a good guy and would of payed if the kid was his but he knew it wasn't
    All women are selfish bitches - By:Harry from Nsw, Oz on April 20, 2017 @ 5:29 am
    Women only care about themselves more than anyone. They always put them self what they want first. Always. Always. ALWAYS.
    Even my wife and my mother don't consider me in this picture. IM IRELEVANT. I spent THOUSANDS of dollars and cried thousands of tears and had hundreds (felt like thousands) of sleepless nights because I was coerced into fighting my selfish bitch ex in court when its true what other men say that NOBODY cares about you if your a man. When I said I couldn't go on any longer I had no fight left in me and didn't want to go into DEBT for a BATTLE I COULD NEVER WIN both my wife and mother refused to speak to me unless it was asking if I changed my mind yet. I told BOTH to butt out as its MY children not theirs my business not theirs and they BOTH got mad with me.
    My wife and I have separated because of the stress. This was the ONLY thing wrong in our relationship. We never had a fight before all this court stuff.
    If my selfish bitch ex hadn't gone for CSA then I would of been with my wife happy forever. I would of NEVER gone to court for access but she went to court for csa first after months and months of NO contact.
    My ex didn't consider me and didn't talk to me first. My wife didn't realise I never slept and cried all the time before I withdrawn from court just talked about HER stepchildren and how SHE felt about not spending time with HER babies and my mother just goes on about how it's HER grandchildren. Doesn't care it's my children and my right to choose if I go to court. Her and my wife would call each other BEHIND my back and manipulate me together. IM FUCKING FINISHED WITH FUCKING WOMEN TELLING ME WHAT TO DO. I hope my daughter grows up better than them all but being a woman she probably won't. All women are selfish bitches. Fucking selfish fucking cumstealing bitches
    melanies walk - By:lenny from NT, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:57 pm
    Hey Albert, regarding melanies walk, i will speak for myself, you're on the wrong fkn webpage asking guys like us who have been fucked over by women to ask us to "like", add, support or whatever" a woman "!!! especially one i dont even know.
    she can walk around the world for all i give a fuck"! Until we get a Minister for Men's AFFAIRS"!!! women can fuck off... i will use them when i need to. No walk a woman goes on will do men any good"!
    im over the lying cheating bullshit that the "enemy"! dish up, just read the stories from the long lists not only on this webpage but many, the cunts dont even need us anymore they can buy cum and get pregnant anyway "!!! the fucking place is a "JOKE"!
    ARRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHH - By:Davide from Nsw, Australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:57 pm
    DONT GO TO COURT
    DONT WASTE YOUR TIME
    DONT WASTE YOUR MONEY
    DONT WASTE YOUR BREATH
    ARRRRRRHHHHHH!!!!
    Used to be an aussie too - By:Trevor from KT, Previously Australia on March 16, 2017 @ 3:51 am
    I also left Australia but now I live in the US where people don't treat me like shit and I'm more cautious about unwanted pregnancy. Thinking about having a vasectmy so I'm in complete control.
    I applied for more jobs than I care to remember but it really only took 4 months of hard work and dedication from starting my search until I got offered a decent position. it would of been worth 4 years of jobsearching. I'm extremely happy now. Good luck to everyone else doing the same.
    common sense - By:Jason from wa, australia on March 19, 2017 @ 2:58 pm
    Hello all. I have been paying child support for 9 years now to a woman who now has four children to four different fathers. It was planned from the start and she openly happily admits It to friends and family following in her mothers foot prints. How in a modern country is law so one sided that men can get trapped in such a way. I have multiple friends in the same position and while working in the mining industry I meet people every day who either have met someone or had similar happen to them. The thing is the csa was made to protect the child in theory but being serious how does a suicidal angry nearly bankrupt father futher help a child's growth? the csa should be dissolved and the money spent instead on a forced mutual agreement once child is proven yours in court. that agreed payment should then be fixed for the 18 year period. If you get a higher paying job because your more qualified you should be rewarded not punished and wouldn't change your fixed payments. This way 50/50 at the time of break up is agreed on by both parties and future income is irrelevant as it should be.

    I wonder how quick the system would be revised if the blokes in paliment were in the same boat?
    Worth waiting 4 - By:Rob from Vic, Australia on March 22, 2017 @ 1:56 pm
    Here's the truth mates: You get less s**t for not being in your children's lives than you do if your in the lives and ex bitch says your f***ing them up. While they're children the mother has all the rights but once they're adults they have their own rights. WAIT UNTIL THEY ARE ADULTS. It's worth waiting for
    When my children turned 18 I sent them letters and this was after years of no contact. It explained everything all my reasons for not seeing them and all my love for them. I sent one again to my daughter on her 21st because I didn't hear back from her and suspected my ex intersected the letter the first one.
    I have good relationships with my children and we spend time together regularly now that it's their decision. I don't have any regrets about how things happened because of what I have today and my daughter told me that they all appreceate NOT having stress during their childhood with parents fighting AND THEY THANK ME for that and RESPECT me for that.
    I know how hard it is but the wait is WORTH it all
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