Have Your Say Discussion Forum



A vitally important place to air your emotions, how you feel and what you think!

The F4J Have Your Say area is simply a place for everyone where you get the Freedom, Peace, Love and Respect to share what's going on for you.

There is no right or wrong about what you say or how you say it —
the main thing is you let it out!

So have your say, vent your spleen, say your peace, let your feelings, emotions and thoughts run free as opposed to bottling it up causing ill health in you and for others.

Chances are there is somebody relating to exactly what's happening or of concern to you. What you say may very well help others as well as yourself. Once we all realise we are not alone and we are all in this together in one form or another, as living men and women with fundamentally the same psychological and biological structure, a great sense of relief and peace can come from this knowing.

However, the only condition in this forum is we ask you not to identify family members by their true names. Not because of man made rules, fear or ignorance, but purely based on respect for yourself, your family and reasons of higher good, else you're free to let loose.

This Have Your Say section is an open forum and not censored as such giving you the freedom to let rip with whatever's on your mind.

So with all that out of the way.... Go straight to writing a comment now

    <Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Next>293 - 244 Comments... +Add Yours ...Over 257,284 views
    Change of circumstances - By:Dave from ACT, Australia on November 6, 2016 @ 12:44 pm
    Hi has anyone successfully applied for reason 8 under the change of circumstances where their ex wife was working full time and then decided to move interstate and not work? My ex wife is moving interstate next week with her husband and my daughter and is going from a good government job to nothing. When the child support assessment is next calculated my child support amount will go up. How is this fair? If I was to do that I would be jumped on immediately by CSA. My ex wife and I have one child each (14yo and 16yo) living with each other full time. The kids spend little time at either house and generally only go for dinner. They are happier living in separate houses for the past 14 months as the week about was too hard for them. My ex wife is a daily user of marijuana and other drugs and makes these available to my kids. I have made over 30 complaints and incident reports to child and youth protection services since we divorced due to the drug issue. My son is 16yo and last year 3 times he went and stayed at his mothers he ended up high or taking drugs and selling them at school. He got kicked out of his catholic school and I fought hard to keep him there noting the circumstances at his mothers house. Unfortunately they were only following policy and I accept that. What I cannot accept is my daughter who is 14yo smokes marijuana often and generally gets it from her mum house (her words) is allowed to only attend maybe 4 classes a week and truants 90% of the time and the government will not hold her mother accountable, yet I am $20 behind in child support and I get stomped on by CSA. How is this fair and how is it fair we have a child each and we are both remarried yet she wont advance her career to earn more money? She just thinks she is entitled to my money. Effectively she is taking $500/month off me and I cannot spend that money on my son and the three other children (one is my biological son and the two others are not) I need to spend that money on. My daughter gets new cloths every month and really nice stuff and it is only because of my money. Unfortunately my children at my house miss out on many things.
    Inferdelity - By:Glen from Northern Territorry, Australia on November 6, 2016 @ 1:20 pm
    How is it that a hard working man who has had to work away from his family in order to try to get ahead comes home to find out that she has been getting drunk at the pub and having sex with another man sleeping and doing it in our bed, ends up with nothing and she has the house sold the investment property has the kids and the new guy and a new car and the cash and i get to leave with my car tools and clothes?
    Ill tell you why because the law supports women in a way that they can live their lives with little or no responsibility for their actions and there are no laws to protect a man thats why"!
    If that happens in other countries he gets shot and she goes to jail.... no wonder so many men are choosing asian wives because all the white ones fuck us over... and most of the time its planned through the single mothers man hating club"!
    Only the applicant - By:Stephen from Nsw, Australia on November 1, 2016 @ 11:48 am
    Hi To everyone talking about not going to court know that only the applicant can not turn up without consequences. They judge won't punish the applicant for not going. Stephen
    290. When a man doesn't show up none cares - By:Graham from Australia, Australia on November 6, 2016 @ 1:21 pm
    What happens when a father doesn't show up to court? Does anyone care? Seems not. If it's for child support they'll order you pay it anyway and you can access orders online to check and if it's for visitation then its nothing but a small inconvenience to them having to go to court and sit all day waiting to see if you turn up. Besides that it seems none actually gives a fuck if your there or not. Correct me if wrong but it really seems none gives a fuck if you're the father.
    They can go to H*** - By:Bill from Nsw, Oz on November 6, 2016 @ 1:22 pm
    i said I wouldnt and i didn't turn up to the last court date so everything was adjourned for 2.5 months. Csa hasn't called me since that day so I think my ex must of said something to them (good! Go to hell csa :)). My wife believes my ex had court adjourned prior to day for her own sake she doesn't know I didn't turn up so everyone seems happy I guess. If csa ever contacts me again I'm gunna ignore them until they go away. My child don't even know me and the court don't care that ex kept her away. I'm gunna save my $ and build a future for my girl when shes grown. After 18 if she wants her father she'll have me I'm just gunna make sure I keep all these papers that proof I tried to fight for her. I think more men need to take a stand and refuse to be part of biased court and csa.
    DONT WASTE YOUR TIME $ ENERGY - By:Peter from Nsw , Australia on November 1, 2016 @ 11:48 am
    To everyone thinking about going to court DONT DO IT. it's a waste of your precious time and money and energy. Your efforts will be wasted and your funds depleted. Even when everything is finalised it won't matter because your ex can do whatever she wants anyway and you need more time and money and energy to take her back to court AND THEY NEVER CARE anyway so it's just a waste!!! Please save your money and your energy for your future and your children's future!!!
    If you've started proceedings allready and feel you're getting nowhere it's because you are getting nowhere! You can get out of it and save those precious dollars for the future and your children's future
    CSA & Mothers - By:Joe Firriolo from WA, Australia on November 21, 2016 @ 5:53 am
    Child support leaves me with 86 a week to buy food and entertain my kids "when I have them"...and they think this is a fair amount. Fuckin useless pricks I do not know how they sleep at night! this is after a COA, I had to fight for 12 months to get some arrears backdated as I was not working and one of the mothers some how in my COA gets an increase! go figure.

    Secondly court ordered parenting plans are fking USELESS if you dont have the money to go to court! with the money im left with each week how the fk am I suppose to go to court and make a case - and even if I do have to go down that avenue dragging my kids into this shit is beyond cruel!

    Good fathers get fk all, bad mothers get all.
    Fuck csa fuck court fuck everything - By:Bill from Nsw, Oz on January 5, 2017 @ 8:50 am
    fucking csa harassing me constantly for the last fortnight. Not even been court ordered to pay but I do because I'm a father but my ex keeps telling them to harass me to try and make Me pay her when Im not working right now due to medical and family issues which are MY business not hers.i wanna screem Fuck you bitch you kept my daughter away from me practically since she was born!
    If it wasn't for my wife id just give up and not bother turning up to {biased}court next week but my wife knows what date I have to be there. Might lie and tell her it's adjourned so I don't have to go. Don't see the point any more. Lawyer alone cost a small fortune. Csa has no sympathy for my needs. At all. Ex breeches orders but I'm still expected to pay as agreed to. I'm not ordered. She is. Fucking hell. Means 0 but the paper it written on.
    It's bullshit. Biased bullshit.
    Child support equal rigjts flaw - By:Hux from WA, Australia on August 25, 2016 @ 5:37 am
    Hi, working paying parents of child support deserve a bit of a fair go considering we want to work for our future and what ever happened to equal rights 50-50 in all assets in a divorce ??? Half the payees receiving the child support are shaked up with someone else on the sneak and raking in the money while the payer struggles and is made to justify their spending on the money weve worked hard for !!! Also instead of the c.s.a harrasing the payer all the time how about the c.s.a make the fkn payee do something for a change instead of kicking back waiting for another fkn benifit they can blow on bettering their new partners lives while the payer forks out for their childs welfare on top ...I thought we lived in a democracy not a dictatorship fckn child support agency !!! How about a fkn audit and investigation into the bullshit c.s.a
    Abolish state governments - By:kris from nsw, ZOG on June 30, 2016 @ 2:15 pm
    Hi
    Abolishing state governments is not spoken about enough people. Think about the massive beurocracy we live under and how much it costs us.
    how many governments does it take to manage 20+ million people.
    All the different laws/licensing from state to state. The local councils are enough and paid well to manage localities. Our one nation with lots of different people and cultures,divided by many factors, hundreds of councils state governments and one big government in a place ,some may never know,they call Canberra . And yeah we'll get this monkey show back on track, happy elections season people, and please someone tell Rupert Murdoch to stay the fk out of Australian politics and fkn retire.
    Political landscape - By:Sammy from Vic, Australia on July 1, 2016 @ 11:10 am
    I will keep it brief...Anyone who gets elected to become an emplyee of the corprate busness known as the Australian Government(AG) simply does as theyre told, like any good emplyee does if they want to keep their job, perks, any resemblance of a good name and outa gaol. ie. they toe the line. There is no such thing as a parliament and true representatives for the people anymore. A fact we must all get used to despite the illusion that keeps getting stuffed down our mouths daily. There is no justice only just-us Marilyn. We must all understand commercial agreements, contracts and who we are,, and forget the politics of a corporate empire that essentially ignores what its employees want or say. The CEO, alias PM, Trustee or Administrator of this bankrupt landmass called AusGov, takes it's orders from above in the chain of command. Clearly, the managers for the AG, alias polis, don't care about us. They talk big to get into the job. Most then are quiet (silenced) and do sweet FA (controlled). The then exit with a big fat juicy pension and maybe talk some more big talk about NOTHING useful. Most are good for nothing save for keeping us divided and distracted from learning about our estates. History, without having to look too hard, evidences their contempt for us. In concluding, they want people to sign your name off at the polling booths, giving them CONSENT to do whatever the hell they want. Who one votes for is irrelevant to any positive outcome for the vulnerable and disadvantaged, alias 'have nots'. The AG is like a run away train outa control and can't be stopped,,, all we can do is switch the tracks to a dead end and watch it crash. The best anyone could hope for in this 'political landscape' is for influential public figures to higlight to the masses the fraud that is being perpetuated upon us souls bursting the bubble of illusion. It would of course need to be those with spirit, courage, who can't be bought off and can handle being ridiculed and ruined, or even die for the cause. The best we can all do is to not partake in it, lodging our objection wherever possible, making it all illegal as well as unlawful. We must refrain from voluntarily giving up our energy, attention and life to what has become an abomination. God bless us all as we unite together in spirit and flesh -- for renewal, healing and a better today.
    Upcoming election - By:Marilyn Synnes from South Australia, Australia on July 2, 2016 @ 12:03 pm
    Does anyone know of a Political Party in the upcoming election who will bring about an inquiry into making Child Supoort Payments Fairer for the Dad's??
    Please read!! Help fight backs - By:Geoff from Qld, Australia on August 31, 2016 @ 1:04 pm
    I feel sorry for all the dads having access issues its terrible. I fortunately dhave access however the CSA has screwed meout of money because my ex has decided to have another baby with her new partner. Neither of us have paid any child support in the last 5 yrs because we have a 50/50 court ordered arrangement and had agreed (not formally) on private collection with no money exchange between us. She was actually supposed to be paying me money. She has re partnered, is in a defacto relationship living with him and has just had a new baby. Because she has stopped work due to the baby and now has no income she has enforced child support on me. I am single, live by myself pay everything myself work fulltime and although my daughter is always well provided for i still struggle financially from time to time. I simply cant afford to pay her anything it will send me broke.....but she doesn't care and neither do the CSA because they have started garnishing my wages after all my appeals. I do not see how i am responsible for their lifestyle choice to have another baby? I certainly did not want another baby. Another problem is the "self support income" the CSA convieniently provide for everyone at the same rate. On my assessment they have put both of our self support incomes at $23000 however she lives in a family unit style household where they share their bills. Ive worked out i need to make approx $42k after tax to pay all my yearly bills. I pay $20k per year just in rent. They have given me $3k per year for everything else?? And no one cares about the quality of my daughters life in her time with me. Her mother just says if i cant afford to keep my daughter she will gladly take full custody of her (her whole intention i think) and the CSA are heartless and just say they are following legislation. Legislation that's extremely flawed and well overdue for a revamp to make it fair on children and fathers everywhere. On reading thru this forum and others online the social implications with what they CSA are doing cant be overlooked anymore. Finding ways of earning untraceable money, cash jobs, selling drugs and stolen goods etc....the things the CSA are making everyday good people do justvto survive is disgraceful. I am in the middle of drafting a letter explaining my personal situation as well as using others as examples and i am sending it everywhere. From Kathryn Campbell herself to local, state and federal MPs, to a number of various media outlets. Something has to be done and i encourage anyone who has been legitimately screwed by the CSA to please to the same make yourself heard. Power in numbers and If the public gets bombed with whats really going on especially with an election coming up we might start getting some decent changes in this destructive legislation. Chin up lads ūüĎć
    280. MyBudget Rort - By:Mick from Vic, Australia on June 22, 2016 @ 3:51 am
    MyBUDGET is a RORT for the vulnerable, disadvantaged and needy!!!

    Whilst this crowd continually advertises on TV/Radio that they help people and makes their life better, this has not been my poor brother's experience where he was RIPPED OFF and taken advantage of by mybudget and a "do gooder" Social Worker who arranged it for him. Was there a finders fee???

    My brother having an intellectual disability was duped into forking out almost $3,500 in one financial year in weekly admin and establishment fees, leaving him with barely nothing to live on after debts, which could have easily been wiped off, were first deducted from his disability pension.

    BEWARE EVERYBODY about being misled and deceived by this shady operation which has made the owner a multi multi-millionaire --- yep we now know how --- at the expense of those in need and those who should be protected!!!!!
    Escape child support & fight back - By:Brick from Vic, Aus on August 6, 2016 @ 12:44 am
    Well done for beating the system!!! .... And the ex, who sounds as vindictive as what I have ....

    I't also pains me to pay her every month, when I know she is using my daughters to get back at me and the price that they are paying for her vindictiveness is that they have lost a dad

    But then I consider that, even if a small part of what I pay gets through and adds a bit of value to their lives, it's worth it

    And if I didn't pay, she would let them know & use it to convince them that they have been completely abandoned by their dad

    And at the end of the day, the girls end up paying the double price of her vindictiveness ..... and my retribution .......

    So I swallow my pride and pay the price, and more, cause I'm sure that they are suffering as much as I am and if If I need to pay $100 more, to reduce their pain by$1, I will do it with a smile

    Escape Child Support and fight back!! - By:Jack Storm from South Australia, Australia on November 17, 2016 @ 10:29 am
    I have successfully stopped paying child support.
    I managed this by dropping off the net. Living under the radar.
    I have no access to my kids and because of this I refuse to pay.
    I have no bank accounts and no assets. (On Paper)
    I live a great life and I work 40 to 60 hours per week for cash.
    It is possible to do if you are willing to sacrifice:)
    trust me!! It works:)

    Are trusts the way to go? - By:Barry J from New South Wales, Australia on July 22, 2016 @ 8:35 pm
    Anyone know about trusts? Yearly fees? How much one needs in it to be of benefit. Can one manage it without accountants? and so on. A friend got screwed costing him a packet but may come out with a few hundred thousand but he's a bit messed up in the head right now and can't make a proper decision to save himself. Any other shrewd investment advice for the novice would be helpful as property seems too overvalued? thanks in advance
    Trust - By:Adam from NSW, Australia on November 17, 2016 @ 10:30 am
    Trusting people and family can really fuck your life up,,,.just sayin
    Standard advice to dads - By:J from Vic, - By:Glenn from NSW, Australia on March 11, 2016 @ 9:32 pm
    J from VIC Fathers do not have the support they require when it comes to family law matters. Lawyers are only in it for the big bucks and dragging out the process to continue filling their bank accounts. I represented myself in my family law matter.I read up on the family ACT and spent many hrs reading on cases via the family court website. I copied many bits and pieces that related to my case and the sections of family law that I required. Now the Family Law ACT is over 700 pages, but in reality many of our all that is required is the following; Subdivision BA--Best interests of the child
    60CA. Child's best interests paramount consideration in making a parenting order
    60CB. Proceedings to which Subdivision applies
    60CC. How a court determines what is in a child's best interests
    This where every one needs to focus and base their arguments in family law cases.
    My case went for 26 mths from start to finish. I was up against a Lawyer representing the other parent, however my children had an Independant childrens Lawyer which was the biggest assistance in my matter.
    In my interim hearing all three of my children where removed from the mother and put solely in my care 100%. The mother had access on weekends but it never occurred. After the final hearing and judgement was handed down, I remained with 100% care and sole parental responsibility, mother has 3 hrs access every fortnight, she has no say in their up bringing. Her partner has no contact with my children. I am in the process of commencing a breach of these final orders as the partner is back to interfering with my children and contacting them. His recent words to my young 10 year daughter via sms " shove the court orders up your arse" lovely behaviour. I have had to changed the children's mobile numbers to stop the contact from him. He phones the landline crying his undying love for my girls to my girls he is a sick piece of garbage. Anyway my rant is done. I say this to all parents, Represent yourself in family court, read up on the law and read up on cases through the courts website. Document all your evidence, subpeona school files, police files and any child protection files. As a Father I never gave up I persisted and studied every thing I could, I sat in court and took notes on other cases and the law words used then looked it all up in detail. Yes it is hard work but you will start to understand the system and the ACT and when you do this you then can put quite good arguments across to judges. Never ever give up. Continue the fight for your children's rights as it is their right to access both parents. At times it is so draining emotionally and physically but remain positive at all times even in the court room. I always suggest you wear a dark blue suit to court appearances, the dark blue has some kind of effect in the court I do not know why but it does and if you see in court most lawyers wear dark blue suits. Always show respect to the court and judge. Always request the court appoint an ICL, (independent children's lawyer). Should you find yourself in a DVO situation of false allegations never admit to anything with the police say nothing. When in a DVO court never admit to anything, if they put a DVO in place it is without admissions and that really means sweet FA in a family court. And never at any time run the other parent down to anyone as it will not go in your favour.
    Standard advice to dads - By:J from Vic, Aus on November 17, 2016 @ 10:31 am
    I haven't seen my daughter for 3 years & currently have an appeal waiting for decision
    I called all the men's rights & father's rights groups, in an attempt to get help and advice and they all came with the same advice - step back, regroup, look after your own health, they will eventually come back to you after age 18 ..... & so on & so on
    What a crock of nonsense, these groups are worthless and even worse, because they don't have a clue &, in fact, support the status quo by advising you to accept the situation
    They give no productive advice and are toothless dogs, who guide you to accepting the fact that, as a man, you should accept that you don't stand a chance, even if you are fighting for the rights of your children
    & then you have boards like this where we (men) can "vent" ...... JC I'm not a woman, I don't need to "air my feelings" I need things to be set right ....... But that will never happen in Aus, where things are decided on a basis of emotion and touchy feely, ...... and if a woman cries abuse, you've had it, because you're convicted immediately, without any consideration for the facts, or that SHE is actually the (emotional) monster
    In the mean time, my girls will have lived without a dad for almost 9 years, before they can see me again, at an age where they are ready to go out on their own & shape there own lives
    I have no faith in The Australian Justice System and Australian society has decayed the the point where men and women are equal, except that women are more equal and men are less
    Its time for men to look at themselves and recognise that they are not 2nd rate citizens and to judge themselves on a scale of a man, not a scale designed by a woman, & say enough is enough, here we draw the line & things need to be put right!!!
    & don't rely on Aussie lawyers, who think that they get paid merely to hold your, while you have to bend over & get shafted ...... because it's a given, that, if you appoint a lawyer, he (or she) will go with the flow & never dare to buck the system ....... & in the "system", men WILL get shafted!!
    War on a corporate level - By:Andrew from Victoria, Aust. on March 10, 2016 @ 2:41 am
    Ayy..all it seems to be these days is warring with corporations, whether it be councils, telcos, police, banks etc. Is it just me or are there others out there not wanting to be pushed around either??? If theres enough interest can we get some support groups up and running to battle these monsters??? Cheers Andy
    Baycorp Agent Harassment - By:Michael from Victoria, Australia on March 2, 2016 @ 11:06 pm
    Had a harassment call early this morning waking me up from my slumber....geez i was pissed! This guy claimed to be KIRAN KONSAN (or similar), an agent for Baycorp Sydney. Anyone had any dealings with this man, and how best to handle these parasites? Do they all have agent/capi identification numbers and are they suppose to provide this upon request? cheers for any info on how to deal with these a**holes.
    A note on appeals - By:Bill from sa, australia on February 23, 2016 @ 3:56 am
    If costs are ordered against you, among other wrongs at a hearing, costs alone can be used as an initial & standalone ground in order to get the appeal lodged within the 28 day cutoff. Costs are good one when you are too emotional & can't think. You can always amend your application later to add further grounds.
    270. thanks brian p - By:dean from wa, aust on August 6, 2016 @ 12:45 am
    hi and thank-you very much brian p. a quick indepth response. i so appreciate it and will conaider your answer whole heartedly. its just sifficult qhen u know the system is warped, treating the hairy parent like an idiot incapable of emotional connection. ahhh! thankyou thankyou :)
    Appeal - By:Brian P from Vic, Aust on October 15, 2016 @ 1:04 pm
    @Dean, an appeal can be a waste of time, money and cost you more if unsuccessful, if you have money to take of course. You will need to show where Mag erred in fact, weighting evidence, law and above all show detriment to your girls, besides the fact they love and need their Dad and will miss him terribly. It's not a simple process, requiring knowledge of legal process and emotional detachment.

    Did you have a residence application in at trial?

    I notice you had 6 days/fn which is not uncommon following consent/court orders from an interim hearing. Some may say this time split is all about settling kids into a new routine and seeing who they align with, others say it's about lawyers making a quid from exacerbating the battle and positioning a client best for trial. All in all it's generally a load of BS and a racket our families should never be a part off!

    Trouble is when a parent becomes the primary carer, and especially if the other parent has little contact, ie. 2/3 nights/fn, they can do as they like and move where they like. It's not a ground for appeal that will entertained favourably. Some parents move farther.

    I personally would drop the appeal idea, lick your wounds after this battle and regroup. Get yourself fixed up, head straight and feeling good before contemplating your next moves. ie. whether a) you want to move closer to your Ex for the good of the kids and more time or b) accept what is for now, adjust and plan for something better for yourself and your kids. Keep in mind that kids circumstances change and a fresh application down the track maybe needed or maybe your ex isn't too bad and will give you more time.

    Just a few thoughts for you brother to keep your spirits high, and knowing that nothing has been lost. You have plenty of options up your sleeve. Of course there is no silver bullet answer as everyone's perception and situation is different.
    process /chance of successful appeal to - By:dean from wa, australia on February 22, 2016 @ 7:04 am
    hi. i want to appeal a family court decision made at trial. i had 43% time with my two girls 4 and 6yo, but my ex had her orders accepted whereby she was allowed to relocate 250 ks away and i now only have onee weekend a fortnight with my children. the magistrates (sutherland) decision was biased. it was made without fact and i woukd be suprised if she more than sped read my addidavit. not i attempted to adjourn the trial because i was not prepared but was knocked back. i did not have all my evidence / witnesses etc. i was self representing aand qithout money am finding it difficult getting advice. thankyou if anyone can help of point me in the right direction.
    Self employed Mum receiving child suppor - By:Anthony from ACT, Australia on February 21, 2016 @ 7:31 am
    My ex has been running her own businesses for years. In 2007, she was being assessed by CSA as earning $3192 per annum which was used by CSA as her annual income and by Centrelink for Family Tax Benefit purposes. I appealed this and after being rejected twice by CSA and then CSA objections took it to the Administrative Appeals Trbunal. They re-set her wage at $60K after looking at deductions that CSA refused to take into account. My ex then sold her business, advised CSA which then re-set her annual income as being $3192. In the meantime she started a new business which, by her lifestyle incorporating cars, overseas travel and home rental of a home on the Gold Coast that sold for just under $1 million just prior to her renting it, would seem to demonstrate that her earnings are reasonably significant (she has not re-partnered). Based on QLD Real Estate Institute data, the average rent paid on properties in 2015 was 5.2% of the gross value. Based on $1 million this would be $52K net or approximately $70K gross. I advised CSA. They made one phone call to the mother, did not ask for rental receipts or a copy of the lease and concluded that her current assessable income of $18K will not be changed. We hear all the time of paying parents (usually fathers) who are self employed, reducing their income to pay less child support. CSA actively pursue the, However they seem to have little interest in pursuing a mother who is in receipt of child support for minimising her income and not being able to show how she affords the lifestyle she is living. I now have little choice but once again to take this to the Administrative Appeals Tribunal. Has anyone had similar issues and can anyone advise how extensively CSA should be investigating receiving parents who are self employed in comparison to how they investigate paying parents who are self employed. Thanks.
    More on fines and mortgages - By:Taz from SA, Oz on January 30, 2016 @ 2:10 am
    thanks all for a fine job. any chance more info on fines and mortgages could be put up to help those of us who are struggling??
    give them no authority - By:Bill from sa, australia on July 8, 2016 @ 3:22 pm
    can we just ignore all these corporations that mess with our family + rob us blind..im sick of it. seems we are best not to contract with them giving them no authority or jurisdiction?
    Government Justice System misgoverned - By:Linda Jay from WA, Australia on October 13, 2015 @ 2:50 am
    Lawyers and Magistrates are ruled by the courts legislations rules and Laws passed by the Government. Many of these were passed in 1975 Family Law Act . Many have been updated I believe not followed by the Lawyers or Magistrates. http://www.australia.gov.au/ Sorry Day and the Stolen Generations The first National Sorry Day was held on 26 May 1998 ‚Äď one year after the tabling of the report Bringing them Home, May 1997. The report was the result of an inquiry by the Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission into the removal of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children from their families.
    These children who were removed came to be known as the Stolen Generations. The best to my knowledge removal of any Australian child from a parent who is not mistreated or neglected is stolen. When is the Government going to realise we are all human no matter what colour,race or gender? When is the Government going to say sorry to all the innocent parents, children and families they are destroying? When does the human rights and equal opportunity Commission pass and follow legislations set out by the United Nations?
    United Nations Convention
    on the Rights of the Child. Convention on the Rights of the Child

    Adopted and opened for signature, ratification and accession by General Assembly resolution 44/25 of 20 November 1989
    entry into force 2 September 1990, in accordance with article 49
    Preamble Article 9 Children should not be separated from their parents unless it is for their own good. For
    example, if a parent is mistreating or neglecting a child. Children whose parents have separated
    have the right to stay in contact with both parents, unless this might harm the child. Article 18 Both parents share responsibility for bringing
    up their children and should always consider what is best for each child. Governments
    should help parents by providing services to support them, especially if both parents work 25 years the Australian Government appears to have failed to pass many legislations and to follow the legislation, Laws set out by the United Nations.
    © 2015 Microsoft Terms Privacy & cookies Developers English (United States)
    Who is accountable for destroying our ch - By:Linda Jay from WA, Australia on October 13, 2015 @ 2:32 am
    Linda Jay It's not just the Mother, Father and children who suffer through this traumatic time. This affects the family as a whole, Grandparents when your grandchildren have been taken from you, when you've played a major part in their life. I believe the Magistrates need a psychiatrist degree, in my opinion many parents in the courts have a mental disorder which should be recognised by the Magistrates and DCP representative. Every Mother Father child should be accessed by a psychiatrist / psychologist before going to court. It's an absolute disgrace how the Justice System can take children from innocent parents/families for months /years, then after the final hearing say 50 / 50. No consequences for the abducting parent, no consequences for the courts for destroying innocent children. Someone has to take responsibility and be accountable for these inhumane, cruel actions. The Courts are there in the best interest of the children. Not The children who have been alienated behaviors are disturbing, confusing and often frightening, to the child, and can rob the child of their sense of security and safety leading to maladaptive emotional or psychiatric reactions.
    Alienation is damaging to children's mental and emotional well-being, deprive children of their right to be loved by and showing love for both of their parents.
    Child support - By:Ky from nsw, Australia on June 23, 2016 @ 8:21 pm
    After being abused by my ex husband he took my 3 children. He still has 100% time with my 11 and 14 yr old and I have 35% time with my 7 year old. I pay 100% child support for the older 2 and almost as much for my 7yr old which is almost $400 per week. My ex works full time and earns aboove $85000. At the end of the day I am left with little to pay for my rent (he also took every assest we owned) and food. He is constantly harrassing me to pay more for the kids sports, pets, school excursions etc. I already pay for my youngest medical bills that are exceeding $2500 per year along with my daughters dance fees (even though I get 0% time with her) and my eldest sons mobile phone bill (even though I get 0% time with him). The ex is fixated on the statement "CS is for basics not anything else" mind you he enjoys a wonder social life and it is not uncommon for him to wine and dine up to twice a week with his friends. Despite my cs payments and 0% access and the extra I pay for the kids he still harrasses me for more money for their 'extra curricula' events and interests (as he puts it). I dont feel I should have to keep paying out money when I am forced to pay 100% CS to someone who earns a large full time income. I have started to refuse to cough up any more money, mostly becasue I cant afford it. Id like to see what other people think, if a party pays 100% child support should they be expected to pay for half of every other event/interest they decide they want to do? At what point would you say no, enough, you took the kids, you get 100% support paid on time every week its time you are responsible for the financial costs? Opinions please....
    Australia Concern http://www.f4joz.com/ - By:Glenn from NSW, Australia on August 8, 2015 @ 10:22 am
    I have a concern this web page has an association with a facebook page https://www.facebook.com/dumbassfathersrights?fref=ts

    On the face book page: Stupid Stuff Australian Fathers Rights Guys Say
    The website in the about section is http://www.f4joz.com/

    If this site has no affiliation then please clear it up as there is no way I as a Father/Man will be discussing matters on this forum only to be harassed by a face book page with this web address

    Thanks

    Glenn

    Admin: No affiliation whatsoever Glenn.
    260. child support - By:micheal from Tasmania, Australia on July 27, 2015 @ 9:09 am
    my ex owes 60,000 in child support what happens when my child turns 18 ??
    Appeal - By:Brick from Vic, Aus on July 11, 2015 @ 10:24 am
    I was able to come right and my apeal lodged & paid for - both transcript & apeal registration
    thank you
    What happens now - By:Frank from Texas, Usa on July 10, 2015 @ 12:00 am
    I didn't have a job at time of court they imputed a minimum wage income now I might be getting a job but of course it will be 20% or more than what they imputed it's inly been 6 months since court date and I have never missed a payment what happens if I do get this job does my payment go up ???
    Appeal - By:Brick from Vic, Aus on July 9, 2015 @ 2:19 am
    I was able to come right and my apeal lodged & paid for - both transcript & apeal registration
    thank you
    Help - By:Brick from Vic, Australia on June 1, 2015 @ 11:41 pm
    What I lost is not in issue, what is an issue, is that my daughters have lost a father, if the judgement stands

    The mother has been given sole parental responsibility and must assist the children if they express their wishes to see their dad

    Given the situation, it will not happen for so many reasons, none of which is that they don't want to see me

    Given my experience in the family court, as well as in regard to defending an intervention order, I can't find fault with your description of the Australian Justice System

    As regards the remainder of your advice, there is no other life, if I were to abandon my girls

    I will fight this till the last drop of blood in my body and if this appeal doesn't succeed, I will carry on in whatever other way I can find
    Help - By:Pikey from Vic, Oz on May 31, 2015 @ 7:30 am
    What did you lose Jan + what were the orders?

    In FC it's all magic tricks that string along unsuspecting + emotionally vulnerable people to maximise games + the looting of assets. The game's rigged from the outset.

    Simply, if primary carer wants to maintain that status quo, the game played is no co-operation/communication + go to trial. Most don't understand the outcome does not come from the evidence in court, or lack thereof, the theatrics in trial are just to provide an excuse (judgment) to keep kids with mum or dad (if he pays the big $$$ to a lawyer that trumps other junior). Lawyers are craftsmen + play a very clever money game of deception.

    Save your $4700+ and do your best to adjust + walk away for the time being, which can be extremely hard I know.

    You are best to have a break, re-evaluate your position + kid/s welfare + if necessary, begin a fresh approach with Ex down the track or new application if need be as children's circumstances change. Forget lawyers, you possibly wasted a chunk of cash on them already.

    It's not your fault that you "lost" in court, altho I don't know you personally, I'm sure you did your best with what you knew + resources at hand! As I said, the game is rigged from the get-go. You + your kids only win by not being in the legal system.

    THE FC BS is a hard lesson for us all, but we have to learn to let it go!!
    Help .. - By:Jan Brand from Vic, Australia on May 30, 2015 @ 7:09 am
    I received Judgement on my Family Court hearing, ordering that presumption of ¬®equal shared parental responsibility¬® is rebutted, because it is not in the child¬īs best interest if the parents are ¬®unable to communicate effectively and cooperate¬® and that this had occurred since the specified date on which the mother obtained an interim intervention order.

    In support of this decision, the court used examples of text messages sent to the father, by the mother, wherein she abuses him after separation (before the intervention order) and also refer to arguments between the parents, which occurred prior to separation and prior to the intervention order.

    There was no direct communication between the parents after / since the date on which the mother obtained an interim intervention order, due to the legal constraints and the fact that the mother was represented by Vic Legal Aid.

    I was self-represented.

    Prior to the hearing, neither party raised the argument of ¬®inability to communicate effectively and cooperate¬® and this issue was first raised in final summary, based solely on the nature of text messages sent to the father, from the mother ‚Äď I did not have any opportunity to rebut this argument.

    No evidence was presented with regards to any actual instances of parental decision making, where the parents were unable to put their differences aside

    In cross examination, I testified that the text messages reflected only a portion of the communication between the parents and did not give a complete picture of the communication

    The Mother gave no evidence relating to this issue

    I believe that the judgement contains a number of ¨factual errors¨, in addition to the above, and I will be lodging an appeal.

    Given my financial constraints, I have a bit of an issue, as I have received a quote of $4 700 to obtain the transcript of hearing.

    I can get a loan for the amount required, subject to obtaining a properly experienced and qualified legal opinion on the merits of my appeal.

    Which creates a bit of a chicken egg situation, as -

    1.I need to find a lawyer / barrister who would be willing to give an opinion on the merits of the appeal, before confirming the stated facts to the transcript, and
    2.I will now have to find the funds to pay the lawyer / barrister for the opinion

    Publication of the judgement, as Brick & Brick has been approved pursuant to S 121(9)(g), intended to create a precedent case of this issue.

    This precedent will therefore create another opportunity for mothers to control access to the children, by refusing to co-parent and by constantly abusing the father in text messages.

    No marriage break-up, that ends up in Family Court, is on friendly terms, and this judgement will give malicious mothers another opportunity to nullify the presumption of shared parental responsibility - if I am unsuccessful in my appeal

    I do realise that I might appear to be a bit cheeky and a self-serving beggar, but ask if there may be a qualified and experienced lawyer or barrister, interested and able to assist, or who would like to ensure that the rights of fathers are not restricted even further, by this precedent.

    I can prepare and present my arguments, with reference to all the documents presented to court, but would need someone who would be willing to give an opinion on the merits of my arguments, ¨subject to confirmation of facts to the transcript¨ and who also would be willing to negotiate on the fee

    Thanks
    csa debt out of thin air. - By:being ripped off from qld, Australia on May 21, 2015 @ 10:31 pm
    i'm in trouble and don't know what to do ?.maybe someone can help?.
    i recently did my tax returns back to 2006 and the tax office mucked it up and somehow someone else's income go added to my tfn ,although i got that ammended and fixed ,it raised my income with csa suddenly i had a bill for ny 20 year old son of some 15000 dollars when i asked csa to wipe the debt because it is a false value they told me the isn't anything i can do ,because they can't take into account amended tax income ,this can't be right the money doesn't exist!!how can i be liable for income that i have not recieved ,i am on welfare payments and noway can i take a debt of 15 000 that i have not accruded it's ridiculous the csa say sorry but there is nothing they can do it's the rules .at wits end.
    Can CSA take a lunp sum from me - By:AngryAussie from Qld, Australia on April 10, 2015 @ 9:07 am
    Hi there,
    I have a question about compensation payments from an accident and I owe CSA $20,000 in arrears. My solicitor handling the accident informs me that once my compensation is settled, the CSA will take the balance outstanding to them in one lump sum from my settlement !
    Apparently he has to inform the tax office to check id I owe tax and it filters through to the CSA ?
    Can someone verify this as being correct pls ?


    Kind Regards
    Child Support Reassessment? - By:SB from NSW, Australia on June 23, 2016 @ 2:42 pm
    I found out through back channels (a friend of a friend of a cousin type thing) that my ex is struggling financially but I know he won't talk to me about it...he is too proud. Anyway, does anyone know if he can have his child support reassessed through CSA to take his new financial situation into consideration?

    At this stage I am studying nursing at uni, working at a nursing home & have the kids almost entirely myself (he can only have them one weekend a month due to work commitments) so I can't pick up any more hours at work so I need him to have a reassessment (rather than us just agreeing for him to pay less) so the small amount of family tax benefit I get will increase (assuming his CS goes down).

    He is a good man & I don't want to see him being ground down by finances.
    250. Where, how, who & why not just close the - By:Jan from Vic, Aus on February 21, 2015 @ 10:44 pm
    2 & a half years ago, my wife & I split up
    The reasons were not uncommon & also, what seems to be, not uncommon, is that she started restricting my time with my daughters

    After about 8 months, I had jumped through all the legal hoops to get to the round table mediation, required before subpoena can be issued for a legal custody case (through legal aid)

    At that point I was issued with a interim family violence order, claiming child abuse and spousal violence & abuse - the mediation was immediately cancelled, as was my approval from vic legal aid

    Over the past 2 years I have been found not guilty of child abuse, I have been prodded and poked to assess my sexual risk factors & all the rest, that the legal system can come up with, and required me to pay for, together with defence attorneys who are so conditioned to the system, that they do not consider the possibility of fighting the system (in retrospect, they may be right) in addition to learning that the attorneys that I can afford, believe that they are paid for their mere presence, and in my case, where they failed to appear on an occassion, which gave the court the opening to grant custody to the mother)

    In either event, I decided that the only / best option available was self representing

    In December last year, it reached the point where the Family court date was set for February 2015 (directions) and the interim intervention for May 2015, for contest. In the intervention hearing (in December) I attempted to apply for revocation, based on subsequent events, and was shot down by the magistrate, to the point that I felt ridiculed

    On calling Vic Legal Aid for a legal opinion, I was told that it would be impossible but, being a stubborn bugger, I applied for a seperate court date to hear my application for "leave to apply for revocation / amendment" and was granted leave, by a lady magistrate who stated that my grounds were valid and even commented that aspects of the interim intervention order were invalid

    After that, I started to get some kind of hope and for the hearing on my application, last week, I felt that I had covered every relevant legal section in my working summary, which I gave to the duty lawyer, as I was legally prevented from representing myself and questioning the "protected person"

    On entering the court, the first of my disappointments was to see that the presiding magistrate was the same one who I felt had ridiculed me. The second was when he mentioned that he remembered his comments to me. The 3rd was when he asked the duty lawyer what the point of my application was, when the original order was set for contest in May. Next was her reply that it was merely her "clients wish" - this despite the fact that I had pointed out to her that this aspect had been addressed when I was granted "leave to apply" at this point I was getting rather despondent and tapped her in the shoulder & reminded her to, at least, mention the aspects of the order which the lady magistrate had pointed out as invalid - she brushed me off & effectively telling me to sit down & not interfere - she did not mention a word about it

    The final blow came when the magistrate said that the interim order had been going on for more than 2 years and he did not see any point in having a seperate hearing for the revocation, while contest was set for 2 months time - he then postponed hearing on my revocation application, to the same date as the contest hearing, set in May - effectively negating the "Leave Granted" by the lady magistrate

    This is the justice which I am expecting to find in the Family Court & magistrates court and I am scared sh#tless

    PS - I might mention that, at the magistrates court, my ex claimed to be in fear of her life and got a court volunteer to hold her hand while waiting and during the course of the hearing - I am sure that the magistrate knows the volunteers and can recognise the implications of her presence
    She even got a policeman to accompany her to her car
    I have never been violent, or even threatened to be violent, to a woman in my life!!!!
    csa garnish - By:johnsie from qld, oz on January 29, 2015 @ 9:57 pm
    hey justin...csa like any corporate power structure masquerading as some legit govt dept can do anything they like, and do everyday, whether it is lawful, contractually fair, honourable or according to common sense + decency. Unless your agreement is recorded (writing/audio) they can just lie their asses off + deny it. police, lawyers + the legal system do it everyday so why not csa? having said that + without knowing the specifics of any said agreement, i would stick firm to the agreement you had verbally + make them honour it, sounding strong in your conviction and speaking to whomever or do whatever it takes to have the csa honour their side of the agreement...they're slippery + slimy little f**kers.
    Garnish bank.. - By:Justin from Vic, Australia on July 10, 2015 @ 6:42 am
    Hi all, can someone help me with understanding where I stand on this one. I lsot my job at end of last finacial year and got a payout. This meant my CS rose $8,000 even tho I still don't have any perminant work( bit of casual work here and there). Last Friday the 23/1/15 I made an arrangement with the CSA. This Tuesday the 27/1/15 my bank account was garnished $1000 by the CSA becuase I still had $2,000 to my name. Can they do this even though we had made an arrangement 4 days earlier?
    Batty as - By:Alien Parent from Nsw, Australia on January 28, 2015 @ 11:42 am
    Rosie Batty is too well versed in feminist narrative to be the sweet little angel she is being made out to be. I smell a rat, and it formally enters us into an anti father era.

    My guess is she was an absolute task master hard arse and made the father's life hell, as much as she could, until somewhere in there he snapped. The end result we all know. I make this assumption based on what I've experienced, seen of others and read.

    I'm not saying the father is innocent and blameless, he shouldn't have done that, but he is now the easy target who can't defend himself. In fact, everything about him is left up to her description of him. No questions asked. We know very little of his circumstances.

    The big lesson out of this is mothers who make life difficult to see kids should know that you are making the father extremely frustrated, so it's best not to do that or all hell can break loose. I am not seeing this description. It's all, geez, we'd better get dads away from kids quick smart. Ex fathers must be dangerous.

    It's a total witch hunt attitude. Humans do this in one form or another repeatedly throughout history. The ex father is today's witch.

    The scary thing is my very own circumstances could easily be framed exactly the same as this guy has been, with the exception I've never threatened anyone with death. If I killed myself, the story could easily read just like his, but I'm no monster, just a weak humble guy who got caught up with an angry dominating feminist. Im Completely non violent but officially accused of violence because I got fed up with years of abuse and defended myself verbally.

    The 2nd big lesson out of it is ex fathers, you must never top yourself. When you lose your kids we all think about it. By suicide you let them dominate the narrative. Even if you leave a note, people will ignore it. And don't think self sabotage will get you anywhere. People are not compassionate enough to react to that. And further more, your ex probably wants you to do it, nothing would make her happier. If you die, you're counted as mentally I'll and forgotten about, simple as that.

    Any male accused of violence post Batty is in big strife.

    If you ever want to see your kid post break up, you'd better have a nice ex, because if they want to have you removed from the picture, the police will believe her, and so will the judge. They just have to cry violence, the truth is now completely irrelevant, and society is cheering it on all the way.

    It is now very important to keep your depression quiet to them. Yes seek help but do NOT tell mediators or your ex about it. Any male with depression is not going anywhere near kids post Batty. All that if you have depression seek help advice is total bullshit. Lefties love mental illness, until it's an ex father, then they'll use it against you.

    We have entered a seriously dark era for ex fathers, because no one gives a shit about you, this is just a plain and simple fact, they don't, you're just another evil Mr Anderson (batty's ex) no questions asked.
    dna - By:bazza from vic, aust on August 6, 2016 @ 12:46 am
    damn...complex + BIG decision...2 main ways alby 1) say nothing, maybe get a 2nd test, enjoy the joys +/or liability of the child at least until 18, remembering fathering isn't just about being a biological donor. Or 2) if you feel you can't be a dad for whatever reason, get a 2nd test just to be sure, confront your ex demanding an explanation, cut all ties for the record + get something in writing from Ex stating your not true father voiding csa liability. From then, if you both want to be parents, then at least you have a choice knowing the truth + be a father the best way you can. Remember, if you do speak up + child is not yours, mother may take child away for good.
    HELP! - By:Alby Why from Queensland, Australia on August 25, 2016 @ 2:52 pm
    I was in a relationship with a lady which ended before the birth of "our" child. Since her birth early last year I have been paying maintenance and seeing the child daily. We recently had a fight and she got nasty so I did a Home DNA test through Home DNA Direct without her knowledge. I've now just found out I'm NOT the father! What do I do, I'm ropeable and devastated all at once. Genuine advice would be greatly appreciated please.
    P.R.A.C.A.I. - By:Sarita Love from Somerset, England on December 20, 2014 @ 3:02 pm
    Hi there I have been observing researching and gathering information and experience on this topic and have come to an interesting conclusion.

    When a faction in a greater dynamic is made in effect obsolete, it is up to supporting factions to step in.

    If it is mothers/women who have the greater presence in court, then the healing must begin here.

    So many women are wounded and full of fear and blame and many have closed themselves to ideas of men being of any benefit to them or their children at all.

    There are women struggling for greater control in their lives after experiences akin to nightmares, largely sporting men at the helm of their sinking ships.

    How can a whole race be bad and rotten to the core? Men and women are born equally in the world and when they are in love and creating families, the inequalities that arise, are between them as a couple to sort out. Yet when they split up - men are effectively, dissolved.

    Our family court system has many female contributors effecting the choices that are made for our children.

    Are they neutral? Do they themselves have a history of difficulty with men? What was their relationship like with their fathers? What unresolved history are they attempting to purge?

    The healing must begin by awaking women to the responsibility that they are currently asleep to. Feeling supported and often vitriolic in court room scenarios, women are being substantially naive and NOT considering their children as they preen themselves in the judges uninformed and limited light.

    All strength to Fathers $ Justice. If you want another admin, writer, or anything else that I can contribute, please get in touch.

    All love
    Sarita
<Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Next>293 - 244 Comments...
Name
Email
State
Country
Topic ↑Go to Top of Comments
* Comment
** Receive notification when comments are posted
Add numbers: 9 + 5 =
 
Terms
  1. This forum and site is for the common good of our children. Only through venting our spleens, sharing and caring, uniting and becoming wiser, empathic and more loving men, fathers and elders, can we ever hope to become better providers and protectors, that come close to giving our children what they really need and deserve.
  2. Whilst generally an open forum, any comments deemed to be abusive or vilify members, individuals or F4Joz will not be tolerated resulting in comments either being edited or not displayed. Members may also be banned until further notice.
  3. Keeping this forum informative and educational will only serve it's readers in the best possible way.
  4. All comments including extracts from other individuals must be in quotes naming the author and/or website url.
  5. * For a hyperlink enclose in link tags - ie.<link>text to click</link>
  6. ** Untick to not be notified of other users' comments.
  7. Posts can be edited by user for upto 4 hours from time of post on the condition the IP address used is the same as when the post was created. If corrections are required thereafter, provide post reference and changes via our contact page.
  8. To cease notification of other users' comments from your previous comment/s made click here.
  9. Any comment can be liked or unliked and memory of such likes, indicated by a purple thumbs up, is currently based solely on the static or dynamic nature of the visiting user's IP address as user login details are not recorded on this site.
Hosting & Support by WebPal© 2018 f4joz.com All rights reserved.