A vitally important place to air your emotions, how you feel and what you think!
The F4J Have Your Say area is simply a place for everyone where you get the Freedom, Peace, Love and Respect to share what's going on for you.
There is no right or wrong about what you say or how you say it —
the main thing is you let it out!
So have your say, vent your spleen, say your peace, let your feelings, emotions and thoughts run free as opposed to bottling it up causing ill health in you and for others.
Chances are there is somebody relating to exactly what's happening or of concern to you. What you say may very well help others as well as yourself. Once we all realise we are not alone and we are all in this together in one form or another, as living men and women with fundamentally the same psychological and biological structure, a great sense of relief and peace can come from this knowing.
However, the only condition in this forum is we ask you not to identify family members by their true names. Not because of man made rules, fear or ignorance, but purely based on respect for yourself, your family and reasons of higher good, else you're free to let loose.
This Have Your Say section is an open forum and not censored as such giving you the freedom to let rip with whatever's on your mind.
So with all that out of the way.... Go straight to writing a comment now
It was very hard to get out of the 7 yr relationship with her as you do feel sorry for them, you help them, you have your own stuff going on and sometimes you fall in love with them and want to remain loyal and make a real go of the relationship.
But what it really means is you fall victim to their prey-ing mantis mentality and your in deep sh&&t.
Funny thing tho my ex wife who i had kids with many years ago, well i had learnt from a forensic psyche that she was a narcisist and another woman i dated for a bit was also abit that way. Wow i said to moir what am i doing to attract these types. Havent figured it yet apart from the thrill i sometimes got with them.. at times mind you. And now im with a normal woman where i sometimes think is something missing and perhaps the problem is with me...
From: david@ukfamilylawreform.co.uk
To: Mark Lancaster2
Sent: Wednesday, October 16, 2013 3:16 PM
Subject: Fatherlessness linked to crime levels and anti-social behaviour.
Hi Mark,
I've copied below a message I sent on the 10th of August in 2004.
Best regards Dave
http://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/euro-dads/conversations/topics/18390
I was pleased that Mr Howard said that boys benefit hugely from a fathers influence and with girls that it reduces pregnancies. Mr Howard has realised that divorce and fatherlessness are linked to crime levels and anti-social behaviour but there are many factors contributing to the rise in juvenile violence and crime, from the glorification of violence in the media to the failure of the "war on drugs but the main causes is the relationship between the welfare state and crime.
NEW research shows that single mothers are more prevalent in countries where the state provides plenty of benefits. In Britain a quarter of all children are brought up by single parent mothers more than any other in the European Union and Increases in public support for single mothers is significantly associated with a higher prevalence of never-married and divorced mothers in 17 western countries.
Best regards Dave
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/newspaper/0,,170-1208243,00.html
August 09, 2004
Howard blames fathers
"Controversial changes to Victoria’s speed camera rules will allow police to hide behind trees and road signs and position themselves at the bottom of hills in the name of camera operator safety.
A News Limited report reveals the new policy changes – which come into effect immediately – that claim to be designed to protect mobile speed camera operators from motorists by allowing them to hide behind bushes, poles and other fixed objects.
While previously speed cameras were “under no circumstances” permitted to be covertly concealed and banned from use on downhill sections of road, the new wording allows their use in such instances if the “road safety objective” can’t be achieved in another position.
Victoria Police defended the changes to the speed camera rules, contending that the amendments embraced some of the recommendations made by the state’s speed camera commissioner.
“The amendments were made to specifically focus on the occupational health and safety of mobile speed camera operators, which is paramount in ensuring they can work in a safe environment,” a Victoria Police spokesperson said.
Are you f...cking serious!! Let's look after the little camera operator revenue raisers at the xpense of families and children going under and breaking up due to financial stress. Seriously, put this much pressure on people and people are gona start crashin into these camera operators and probably much much worse! I'm surprised camera poles haven't been yet cut down with angle grinders??
The mobile speed camera policy changes will be made publically accessible on the Victorian Government’s ‘Cameras Save Lives’ website.
The website explains mobile cameras are used in unmarked vehicles at approximately 2000 locations across Victoria’s road network. A list of the locations is also available online.
Locations for mobile cameras in Victoria must satisfy at least one of the following: there has been a serious or major collision at the location in the past three years; there have been complaints of excessive speed; it has been identified by Victoria Police to be a speed-related problem location; and, speed enforcement by non-camera devices is unsuitable."
http://www.caradvice.com.au/255490/speed-camera-rule-changes-allow-vic-police-hide-behind-trees-hills/
Narcissism is prevalent everywhere you look, and on the rise no doubt about it. The Legal and Family Law Industry is a hot spot, but anywhere there is money and power you will find it.
This narcissistic and almost sociopath phenomena can largely be attributed to the ever increasing harshness of our environment, causing many to become selfish and look after No 1. using the ol' addage "Stuff you Jack I'm ok". It's often sickening and disheartening to see this attitude seemingly flourish in this day and age, it's a problem both simple and complex.
The generic labels one can use are Fascism and Communism. The Communist Manifesto and history books indicate how an ever increasing police state underpins this cancerous creep into our civilization.
Victorian news announced last night that State budget revenue from infringements was double their expectation. From $149M to over $300M and that over 3000 new police [not police as we'd like to know them, just revenue collectors] are on order.
Australia is falling in line just like the UK and USA and must be met with resistance of love and higher consciousness. These historic and archaic ideals of F&C by a relative few may control our bodies as they own us in almost every way, but they don't own our hearts and souls. This is why we must all look within working hard on ourselves to become more loving and peaceful in a spiritual way. Violence only begets violence but love and non-compliance of evil trumps all. History has proven this.
Enough contact in whatever way so the child feels in their heart and soul that you truly love, care and are concerned about them. Kids have to feel they haven't been forgotten. It's about connection not so much quantity.
Whilst everyone gets angry with the unfairness that happens to them with the whole Div/Sep clap trap process, blaming others and naming them really doesn't solve anything.
This is not always apparent to us at first especially when we're feeling pain and helplessness against an anti-family system, but the cause of our issues aren't external, they're internal.
It can be bloody hard, but we must all look inside for both the problems and solutions to all our woes. When we do this and in time, healing can take place.
If ME wants to so desperately want a name & shame page up, why don't you do one yourself? Or if other members/users think its a good idea in a positive way please state your case.
THE BIG PICTURE (well some of it anyway)
From 1975 - 2013 or thereabouts, many men as fathers have had to pay a stiff price upon Divorce or a Separation.
Through loss of time with the kids or complete alienation, financial disparity if not financial ruin, loss of power and control and a hard whack to the male ego, identity and expectations, or simply a loss of their life psychologically, emotionally or physically.
But didn't all these losses somehow resemble men and fathers going off to war, where men were somehow proud to go abroad and fight for their country? So what's the difference now for a man or father between the losses he may incur through going off to war and the losses he sustains through a Divorce or Separation?
Whilst both scenarios are similar, what makes one more palatable than the other, or have men been jibbed on both accounts?
Taking it a step further what are men meant to learn from these two paradigms?
Are men being in alignment with their true nature in either case and if not, what really is a man's fundamental true nature?
What is the authority on a man't true nature? Is there any one man on the planet we can say is an honourable role model for all men? What about throughout history or in the bible (the greatest story ever told)?
Or are we slowly awakening to the fact we have been lost or misled, and in the throws of creating a new male species?
Are men having to evolve in alignment with their environment, or should we be all working together to create something new and something better, discarding this old defunct model?
So who's controlling our environmental landscape and for the good of who or what?
Taking a spiritual perspective, and I don't mean religious, may just be the way forward for all us men and fathers. Maybe learning and remembering who we truly are is really the path for us all.
In closing remember one thing, we came in with nothing and we will leave with nothing, so what would you like to contribute in the brief time you are here?
Unfortunately as I wrote this, I came up with more questions than I did answers, I hope this is or service to someone and some other part of me.
Child abuse is an industry that like the CSA, ATO, Legal, courts & authorities just to name a few, will do whatever it takes to protect itself from the onslaught of public pressure if the truth were to be revealed. It's a disgrace and the only real protection of these children is for mums & dads to be wise and just protectors of their children, also whatever it takes!!
The fight is on lads, not against other countries in stupid wars that are pointless, but against those who attack our kids and families. United we stand - divided we fall!
http://macurstatement.blogspot.com.ar/2013/07/review-statement-of-andrea-davison-1.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkMkjMLqpog
It's quite repulsive for you to question my identity whilst failing to disclose your own. But, it's not surprising, most Australian dads are too scared to stand up and be counted.
Sadly, the number of Australian dads that have actually 'done' something (anything) could be counted by a 2 year old.
By default ICLs and those in the court system at large make judgments for the mother most of the time. 99% of trials [final hearings] are won by the mother. This is so there are no consistent public precedents that can be used against mothers at any time.
Unfortunately in the family court game ICL's hold the balance of power. The only way is to influence ICL to do the right thing, either by a big law firm costing you big bucks [with an agreement in writing no kids - no money], replace the current ICL with another one of more credibility (can be done but still dodgy and not an easy task), and then there is taking your case public stating how negligent the ICL is. [Also hard but only way in that system]. When you as a Dad are damned in that system, fight for truth outside of it.
It's no wonder many parents abscond with the child as the system is bloody useless for Dads and most importantly, our kids in trouble!
http://www.ukfamilylawreform.co.uk/childrenandadoptionbilldebate20thjune2006.htm
Children and Adoption Bill debate
20 Jun 2006 : Column 1282
Tim Loughton: I am grateful to my hon. Friend. Of course, as well as those who do not sign early-day motions for reasons of personal choice, there are Ministers, who cannot sign them. That means that a vast majority of free-thinking Members put their pens to the motion. Only 146 of those 345, however, were prepared to go into the Lobby this evening, when it really mattered. That speaks volumes about the attitude of certain Members.
http://www.cyriax.co.uk/process.htm
Child Contact: Understanding the Reform Process
Introduction
The article below summarises the anomalies in the UK legal system and the history of UK family law reform The piece was first published in the June 1999 edition of Public Eye shortly before the accelerated departure of the Lord Chancellor's Head of Family Policy, William Arnold. Points to consider are:
(i) the Family Court Welfare Service (FCWS), to which frequent reference is made, was the predecessor service to CAFCASS.
(ii) the FCWS, which came under the Home Office, was disbanded in April 2001.
(iii) by the time that the Home Office conceded that its FCWS staff were untrained, no time remained to train them.
(iv) untrained FCWS staff were transferred without (re)training to CAFCASS.
The Way Things Are
Hence the same defective FCWS system, described in the article below, continued unaltered as from 2001, but under the auspices of CAFCASS instead of the FCWS. Things were otherwise unchanged. Developments thereafter were:
1999-2003
The major reforms (described at the tail-end of the article) went ahead, by-passing CAFCASS. These measures collectively known as EI - were eventually agreed by the legal establishment and by the Government, which announced them, funded them, passed them for implementation and set aside parliamentary time to draft the enabling statute
2003-2006
A rogue DfES civil servant, acting without authorisation, discarded the EI file he was meant to implement, without reading it; and replaced the agreed reforms with a concept of his own, which he thought was the same, but which was actually:
the reverse of the agreed reforms
the same as the existing system
Meanwhile, this civil servant continued to tell Ministers that the agreed reforms were still going through. Hence the current position:
the agreed reforms have been (a) announced and (b) destroyed
the legal system is now the reverse of what it is now said to be
the substitute DfES reforms have disappeared without trace
the 2006 Contact and Adoption Bill has disappeared without trace
Prospects
No useful reform measures are currently in process or envisaged. Nor can they take place until reinstatement of the agreed EI reforms. As set out above, the existing legal system is now the opposite of what it is said to be. It does the opposite of what it said to do: it prevents rather than facilitates the attainment of reasonable contact. Hence refinements to this legal system merely make it better at doing the reverse of what it is said to do. That is, they make things worse.
The role of the current Ministers in this Government is limited to the advice from their civil servants; and the role of these civil servants is to prevent Ministers finding out what went wrong.
Nothing will change until the Government changes.
A - Nothing. They all suck you dry.
Why should corrupt law industry be allowed to exploit and destroy children and families for profit?
Psychological Warfare (PSYWAR), or the basic aspects of modern psychological operations (PSYOP), have been known by many other names or terms, including Psy Ops, Political Warfare, “Hearts and Minds”, and Propaganda.[1] Various techniques are used, by any set of groups, and aimed to influence a target audience's value systems, belief systems, emotions, motives, reasoning, or behaviour. It is used to induce confessions or reinforce attitudes and behaviours favorable to the originator's objectives, and are sometimes combined with black operations or false flag tactics. Target audiences can be governments, organizations, groups, and individuals.
In Propaganda: The Formation of Men's Attitudes, Jacques Ellul discusses psychological warfare as a common peace policy practice between nations as a form of indirect aggression in place of military aggression. This type of propaganda drains the public opinion of an opposing regime by stripping away its power on public opinion. This form of aggression is hard to defend against because no international court of justice is capable of protecting against psychological aggression since it cannot be legally adjudicated. The only defense is using the same means of psychological warfare. It is the burden of every government to defend its state against propaganda aggression. "Here the propagandists is [sic] dealing with a foreign adversary whose morale he seeks to destroy by psychological means so that the opponent begins to doubt the validity of his beliefs and actions."[2] The tactic has long been used by hate groups such as the KKK in order to perpetuate their grasp on power and view of the world. [3]
The U.S. Department of Defense defines psychological warfare as:
"The planned use of propaganda and other psychological actions having the primary purpose of influencing the opinions, emotions, attitudes, and behavior of hostile foreign groups in such a way as to support the achievement of national objectives."[4]
This definition indicates that a critical element of the U.S. psychological operations capabilities includes propaganda and by extension counterpropaganda. Joint Publication 3-53 establishes specific policy to use public affairs mediums to counterpropaganda from foreign origins. [5]
During World War II the United States Joint Chiefs of Staff defined psychological warfare more broadly stating "Psychological warfare employs any weapon to influence the mind of the enemy. The weapons are psychological only in the effect they produce and not because of the weapons themselves."[6]
Part of this process can include blaming others for what has happened ie. our ex-wife, lawyers and judges. We all have at one time or another and for some of us we still curse here and there as the pain still lingers. Nobody is perfect or right all the time.
However, the real enemy is within each and everyone of us. Therein lay the demons. Demons that take time, work and of course real conviction to come to terms with the truth. It's not an easy road but a necessary one to find peace.
People who suicide are unable or unwilling to do the hard work, hence look for peace in death. The real shame is death to our children.
Hence, the quicker we are at peace the sooner we can help other families and our community, to ensure deaths don't happen to our children, albeit in other families.
The answers are within. God bless us all.
However, if positive suggestions of this idea can be put forth a workable concept may arise that may contribute value.
There comes alot of negativity from shame walls unless they are directed at high public office profiles who repeatedly abuse their power or office, and where there appears to be no alternative recourse to neutralise this harm. Although having the masses protesting in the streets would of course achieve an effective result.
Finally, anything can be said about anyone for anyone to read at anytime on a shame wall, regardless of fact or truth, but simply someone's pain and opinion talking. Everyone has their own story. The roots of personal responsibility run deeper than many of us in the first instance tend to realise.
"Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven."
— KJB Luke 6:37
9 years ago, just a handful of genuine activists were fighting hard for change. Unfortunately, most dads didn't have the guts to participate and just stood on the sidelines saying things like, "Good on you." but never, ever got actively involved.
After too many years of dads not having the guts to get involved, I moved on to carry on my own personal struggle. Why should any dad fight for the rights of others if those others won't participate in that fight?
My daughter is now 16 and her mother continues to poison her and limit access in order to maximise the amount of child support she receives. But, what makes things different for me is that my daugter can watch this video and know exactly what her dad did to be able to spend more time with her. How many of you can say the same? Go out and fight for God's sake. Get arrested, get a name for yourself, show your kids just how far you'll go to be a real father figure and male role model to them. Grow a pair and be prepared to put them on the line.
Anyway, here's a little something for posterity.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkMkjMLqpog
Cheers,
Trevor
P.S. At least have the wherewithal to use your full name, your surname is the name that your children will carry and should be proud of.
They spend Billions a year on domestic abuse & they haven't even agreed on what it is yet' or accepted gender specific domestic violence polices' don't work & they haven't got a clue when it comes to child protection. No idea on what needs to be done or why. A bit like care really means they don't the same thing applies' they don't have a clue.
A child's "needs" cannot be optimally met by a single parent, however loving. Kruk's findings show that a child must spend at least 40% of his time with a parent to establish and maintain a beneficial attachment.
David Cameron doesn't seem to care about what is in the best interests of children or he would of honored what the Conservatives pledged to do in their pre-election manifesto.
http://www.ukfamilylawreform.co.uk/actiononfamilyjustice17thoctober2004.htm
ACTION ON FAMILY JUSTICE
On 17th October 2004 the Conservative Shadow Secretary of State for the Family, Theresa May, pledged to end the misery of the family courts. Unveiling a strategy for institutional change.
----- Original Message -----
From: Ivor Catt
Sent: Friday, July 05, 2013 3:23 PM
Subject: Re: ACTION ON FAMILY JUSTICE
“We believe it is critical to most children that they have a good relationship with their mum and their dad. We know that it is usually also very important to both parents. When it is safe and consistent with the child’s welfare, ....” – Lisa ....
Above is from the debate cited by David. This is the silver bullet, which destroys a father’s chance of helping to bring up his child(ren).
In the past, I have reduced this to ridicule by suggeting that legislation making education compulsory be modified by the caveat; “Education of children is compulsory when it is safe and consistent with the child’s welfare.” There is no possi8bility that this caveat will be added in any other legislation enshrining a citizen’s rights. The purpose in the case of a father’s access to his child is to make it easy for a judge in a secret court to cause complete break between father and child, perhaps by refusing to enforce court orders when there is a hint of violence. It is nothing to do with a child’s safety.
Ivor Catt
when dealing with the csa always record any communications, you can buy a cheap voice recorder that plugs into the phone for like 20 bucks, tell them you are recording to train your lawyer, if the csa make any financial suggestions they can be reported and will get their arse kicked hard, make sure you ask them if they are a certified financial adviser?
i cant recall the agency to report them to, so i will post when it comes back to me.
always ask for a full name and id number if they wont give it just hang up.
i have slowed the csa down over the years by citing their acts of limitations but now they just don't care, so they need to be held personally liable. Once the members start being charged for their own actions i imagine things will change rapidly.
suing the agency is of no good as you may win by settlement but that establishes no precedence so your just fucking over your fellow man.
i am now getting garnished even though i pay the ex directly and have signed receipts stating for child support, (like i said they don't care,they don't care because they know that they and the family court fuck us so hard that we cant afford accountability) they refuse to accept these receipts on the grounds that if they did my ex would not receive child support for some time due to the large credit,( i have this in writing) its a fucking joke, a few public hangings might be in order?
i will gladly join a class action if any get started?? and/or support a bill to reinstate the death penalty for public officials acting outside their limitations.
there is just no accountability for any officers or women in Australia, men are defiantly fucked by all.
im now going to pressure my employer to cease garnishment as its unlawful without a court order, we will see how that goes?
i'm also over the next twelve months going to go completely private and cash in hand and if these bastards try to enter my property to gain payment which i do not owe, they will be trespassing and face self defense, this is what it has come to.
Was told "well take a loan on your house or better still sell it"
I work 70h hours a week to pay Tax and CSA - No life outside of work.... Can these bastards get you if your Dead?
There maybe many different solutions experienced.
These changes took place during 2008 as a small step for the CSA to come into alignment with the declaration of human rights, however they will abuse your rights in every other manner.
Drowning in debt from an unfair system!
1. Parents don't separate until youngest 18
OR
2. Parents stay in counselling/mediation sessions until they work out mutually amicable plan to take care of kids until youngest 18.
3. Everything 50/50 as if parents weren't separated.
This may seem simple and unfair but so are the alternatives!
"Without support Australia may lose the ability to grow and process food in the future, placing the food security at risk, said Mr Gurney.
It is shocking to think of a food industry in Australia without a classic Australian brand such as Rosella, and action is desperately required to reverse this trend before all of our food is produced overseas," he said.
Source: http://finance.ninemsn.com.au/newsbusiness/aap/8574592/rosella-receivership-news-shocking-ausveg