A vitally important place to air your emotions, how you feel and what you think!
The F4J Have Your Say area is simply a place for everyone where you get the Freedom, Peace, Love and Respect to share what's going on for you.
There is no right or wrong about what you say or how you say it —
the main thing is you let it out!
So have your say, vent your spleen, say your peace, let your feelings, emotions and thoughts run free as opposed to bottling it up causing ill health in you and for others.
Chances are there is somebody relating to exactly what's happening or of concern to you. What you say may very well help others as well as yourself. Once we all realise we are not alone and we are all in this together in one form or another, as living men and women with fundamentally the same psychological and biological structure, a great sense of relief and peace can come from this knowing.
However, the only condition in this forum is we ask you not to identify family members by their true names. Not because of man made rules, fear or ignorance, but purely based on respect for yourself, your family and reasons of higher good, else you're free to let loose.
This Have Your Say section is an open forum and not censored as such giving you the freedom to let rip with whatever's on your mind.
So with all that out of the way.... Go straight to writing a comment now
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Reply to Suicide and CSA - By:Katrina from New South Wales, Australia on December 13, 2018 @ 4:09 amAt the end of the Day, parent AND the court system are forgetting about the children and the parent to whom is incapable of holding a diplomatic view and being reasonable for what would be beneficial to the child, they are too focused on the whole "eye for an eye" and trash talking which again I agree, Parent alienation is a form of child abuse! I only hope the parent to whom is abusing the court system isnt doing so they are able to abuse the child without being found out!
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Suicide and CSA - By:Very sneaky from SA, Australia on November 14, 2018 @ 9:41 amSuicide is rapidly increasing over the years, the perfect way for population control blaming the citizens themselves...
The family courts reward up to 65-80% of assets to women during separation,
DVO’s are carelessly rubber stamped by Magistrates without any sort of evidence now for financial and custodial leverage in the family courts. These Magistrates are supporting parental alienation which is a form of child abuse.
Fathers are stripped of their children; typically the Parental alienation child abuse is used.
The Child Support Agency nurtures the child abuse by rewarding mothers 100% money for 100% custody…
This drives Fathers into great debt , stripped of their children then hounded by CSA for more money.
It is a really sad system that’s pushing Fathers into a corner, I can easily see why people want out…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0XQHDWnzHc
I am a mother of 3 children, 2 who my ex husband claims child support from me. He is starting to lower his work hours to be able to claim more child support, lousy but obviously he has found a loop hole that benefits him as the payee. I understand I have no rights other than to lower my income by decreasing my work hours which I really do not want to do. I have the kids 50% of the time and feel I am being financially assaulted. What is the CSA payment threshold surely they can’t just keep taking more and more of my income?
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I beat csa.. I think?? - By:Nathan from Vic, Oz on October 18, 2018 @ 12:41 pmNow I'm in another state and it seems she doesn't even give a shit that she's never heard from me again anyway. I heard she's moved on with a new man and hopes I die so they can play family. So much for all the "what's best for our child" crap she gave me. So many lies she told about me to court.
After I moved and changed jobs CSA never got in touch again. I wanna get enough experience in my job here now so I can get a job overseas then I never have to worry about her or getting a random call from CSA again.
I think I've won against csa tho
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Penalised by other parent earning more - By:John from WA, Australia on October 18, 2018 @ 12:41 pmThe answer should be in your updated payment notice. If you are receiving $12,800 return on investment then at 8% you would have approximately $160,000 invested. I assume this is why you receive no benefits. Because your income is less than the Parenting Payment Single (PPS) amount of $19,568 and you are not on benefits then CSA assume you have other income that they do not know about. They may also know of your investment and expect you to adjust your finances so that you can access this money. In this situation they have apply the Fixed Annual Rate of Income to your assessment which is $1,416 annually ($118 monthly). This has nothing to do with how much your Ex is making. If you want to go back to the minimum rate of $35 a month (now $35.58) then increase your income to just above the PPS amount.
The answers are on the CSA Guides web site : http://guides.dss.gov.au/child-support-guide/2/4/2. If you are not working then you have plenty of time to study this information and apply it to your situation. If you do not then CSA is quite happy to send you broke.
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Abuse of family court against fathers - By:brent from Auckland, New Zealand on October 25, 2018 @ 1:44 pm1
400. Penalised by other parent earning more - By:Rick from SA, Australia on August 7, 2018 @ 9:47 pm6
CSA robbers - By:Marcus B from sa, Oz on August 9, 2018 @ 8:03 amId be requesting proof and challenging everything. Only ever ask questions and make them perform the acts that bind them. Even then that's not enough unless they're in court and on the record. Otherwise they lie outa their arse! Don't tell them anything or ever talk to them on the phone unless you know how to handle yourself. In writing is best. All these agencies see us as enemies so treat them the same. This is war, never forget it.
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Child support, when does it stop - By:Rob from NSW, Australia on June 13, 2018 @ 3:51 pm2
Brandon - By:Rudolph from Queensland, Australia on August 7, 2018 @ 9:05 amIt was all about her. Mine was off with another woman. Go figure
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Brandon - By:Bill from SA, Australia on August 7, 2018 @ 9:05 am1
Worried and Apprehensive - By:Brandon Douglas from Victoria, Australia on June 1, 2018 @ 11:02 amMy ex and I separated a year ago. She stayed in the same house for another 2 months before moving out. In that time she contributed nothing in the way of food, comforting our kids during the situation etc. As well as abandoned our 3 kids (all under 14) with me while she rarely got home before midnight, sometimes not coming back at all. When she did leave she could have seen our kids every fortnight on the weekends but didn't want to see them for nearly another 2 months even then it was only for a day hear or there. She saw them on Boxing Day then not a word for nearly a month. Then she wanted to see them every fortnight on the weekend. Now she is adamant that she wants 50/50 shared custody. I have the kids in a great routine and are finally happy again (have been for 8 months). Our kids wouldn't mind spending overnight at her house, but don't want to live with her. I'm very worried that if she does get what she wants that our kids will be put through hell again, just to satisfy her 'wants'. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
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Abuse of family court against fathers - By:brent matches from auckland , New zealand on August 9, 2018 @ 2:35 am4
Canadian 'Justice'. - By:Edward from B.C., Canada on August 9, 2018 @ 2:36 amThe item is quite lengthy but everything is true, and, I should add, this case has been brought to the attention of both the Canadian Prime Minister and the Canadian Minister of Justice, both of whom have ignored it, hoping, I would assume, that they would prefer that it 'just go away'.
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1HvTP8osB_KQwUsBjCKH42pLv_NM5R_4C
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Lawyers. - By:Brian from British Columbia, Canada on September 4, 2018 @ 10:53 amYou have a gun with only two bullets. What should you do?
Shoot the lawyer ..... twice.
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How much history do we need? - By:Helen D from WA, Australia on June 7, 2018 @ 12:35 pm9
390. Hey :Katrina Gloster - By:SG 66 from Western Australia, Australia on August 9, 2018 @ 2:37 amThis bias system of lawyers and supervision services is a cash cow for the blood suckers that live on everyone's dis pare,.
What a f'n joke the whole thing.
How many of us have had the most despicable things said about us and everyone believed it??
No wonder 7 men a day were popping themselves off in 2015 HEY??
The road toll is??
we dont matter, just rememberthat.
Be strong and don't do anything f'n stupid that your kids will be fuck up for ever with.
Remember they still love you without any conditions.
Be strong and FUCK them! The one's that want to hurt you.
I'm here 0419926521
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Discrimination - By:Katrina Gloster from ACT, Australia on August 9, 2018 @ 2:37 amNot only am I suffering from alienation from my daughters father but he has such massive support that im suffering from bullying based on lies! I did almost commit suicide twice, my daughter is not only sad it breaks me but he cant see or feel how broken she is.
Ii came from a broken home, I hated every minute that I had to hear or pick one side, and the one thing I didn't want my daughter to suffer from, she now is!
My best friend, he suffered from this, inface so many men have I want to help stop the hurt, not only from the parent who is being excluded but more importantly the CHILD/CHILDREN
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THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO SKIN A CAT - By:Give me a call from NSW , AUSTRALIA on February 5, 2018 @ 1:16 am3
I have crunched the numbers.. - By:jono from NSW, aust on June 7, 2018 @ 12:38 pm1
GIVE ME A CALL JOHNO - By:FOR REAL from NSW, AUSTRALIA on February 5, 2018 @ 1:16 am5
csa hope - By:Rick from sa, aust on June 7, 2018 @ 12:38 pmSecondly, why pay for kids that don't legally belong to you? Kids are property in the legal world, and property that you and I don't own? If your don't own the property, you're not liable for it. The state or crown, whatever you prefer, own your kids LEGALLY.
Ask yourself, if DHS or whatever the child services are called in your state wants to take your kids away from the custody of a parent, they can and do so legally..yeah. How come? Simply, kids are state property.
So don't volunteer payments unless you want to and certainly only if you can afford to. Out of necessity and survival you must feed yourself first.
Hopefully this will get people thinking. Remember, those that own your kids [being property] own everything in the PUBLIC Trusts and Domain, including anything to do with your name, ie. bank accounts, your employer's company, those plastic notes we call money and so on. In fact our owners own everything and mislead us into thinking we do. If that doesn't piss people off I don't know what will !!!
If anyone thinks differently, please share your views.
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Im over this... - By:jono from NSW, aust on February 4, 2018 @ 1:37 am3
By:Kris from nsw, ZOG on February 4, 2018 @ 1:38 amTom, this method has worked to some degree. Few year ago you could still talk to those maggots face to face at centerlink .
But because of all the abuse they copped they went underground, hiding behind their phones and pre scripted answers, learnt at team meetings and training sessions. So you might as well not call those drones.
Most of the time they dont know what they're doing cause they don't know the legislation, which is not their requirement anyway. By design all they can do is feed(steer) you to the solicitors to keep the machine (family flaw) oiled and your pockets empty.
Revolution dreaming...
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CSA - By:Tom from NSW, Australia on February 4, 2018 @ 1:38 am9
my experience - By:ITSJIM from vic, Australia on November 29, 2018 @ 3:52 am- 80/20 inc super is the starting point, get used to it. you will lose most of what you have ever worked for and pay child support.
- if mediation has failed, and she has lawyered up. its too late. Lose any thought of people being amicable and fair. Its now a streetfight. Her lawyer will want to settle out of court, getting the best initial settlement, binding agreements and majority Custody, its the standard playbook. Intervention orders are standard. you wont see your kids for 4 months, and pay thousands for psychologist reports to squash the lies that have been made against you. its the “gamesmanship of divorce”.
- Dont trust lawyers, they are NOT your friend or care about your situation. Think of them as hired guns with a law degree who work on commission. Your ex’s lawyer = get as much as they can from you. Your lawyer = limit the damage. Its not in their best financial interest to settle fast. The more messy, the more $$$. give your lawyers clear instructions - they work for you. if they dont listen, or you feel are not sympathetic or aligned to your cause, find a new one.
- SETTLE QUICK. Dont let it drag on into an expensive war. it will affect your mental health and the chance for you to rebuild. Demand a court date be booked ASAP by your lawyer. You can always settle in the meantime or at the initial hearing, but what this does is give a fixed point in time where closure commences. BIG psychological bonus.
- Dont discuss your divorce or situation with anyone at work. with all the crap you will be going through, there will be a drop in your performance and mental state. Dont draw attention to it. Its easy to blame the guy going through a divorce.
- If you are going to settle out of court - Dont accept any binding agreements (eg paying private school fees, additional monthly lump sums $$$ or costs to be excluded from child support. You need to be able financially rebuild and have a life. If you lose your job, you will still be expected to cover costs of what you agreed to in a binding agreement until a change to consent orders is approved. Remember you are going to be paying $$$ in child support taking into account both your income, and your ex's lack of income. This is money to go to your children - not the holiday/hair/nail fund.
- Be nice to CSA. its hard i know. they receive tonnes of abuse. If your nice they will give you hints and advice. They know the system is broken.
Finally, Stay mentally strong, this process breaks the best of us. Nearly broke me. the number of nights i spent crying due to been kept from my kids due to “the standard” intervention order. But it does get better. Which brings me to my final point.
Get on with your life, do all those things that you were prevented from. Join a sport club, get a hobby, meet new people. Dont lock yourself up and get depressed. Dont try and cling on to what you had. Move on and enjoy life with your children (if you get access), make the best of a bad situation. It will take you on average 3 years to rebuild. i am 1.5YR in, just starting to see to see the light at the end of the tunnel. This is your chance to be free and the world is a wonderful place. Dont be glass half empty. Hang in there!
https://www.change.org/p/the-american-psychological-association-ending-parental-alienation-pathology-for-all-children-everywhere?utm_campaign=fb_dialog&utm_medium=email&utm_source=signature_receipt&post_id=1548380715269351#_=_
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Freedom - By:Pikey200 from Victoria, Australia on February 3, 2018 @ 7:37 am2
right on mr J - By:Mick from Vic, Australia on January 31, 2018 @ 4:48 am3
Is there Hope - By:James from NSW, Australia on December 31, 2017 @ 8:26 pmBe informed here is the parliamentary inquiry and the response.
Inquiry
https://www.aph.gov.au/Parliamentary_Business/Committees/House/Social_Policy_and_Legal_Affairs/Child_Support_Program
Response
https://www.humanservices.gov.au/organisations/about-us/budget/budget-2017-18/families/government-response-parliamentary-inquiry-child-support-program-implementation
Find and Sign as many petitions as you can. You will be amazed that we are not alone and that many payers of CS have the same exact concerns. Start here.
https://www.gopetition.com/petitions/government-review-of-the-child-support-system-make-it-fair.html
I have had my long days and sleepless nights worrying about child support usually after my ex contacts CSA and changes the situation to get more money.
One of the most active online communities relating to positive reforms of the Child Support Regime is the Facebook group – Child Support Australia – Time for Reform and Fairness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyrtKUoC-j8&t=3s
Good luck to us all
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Hit where it hurts - By:David Kallenbach from Queensland, Australia on December 29, 2017 @ 9:26 amCivil disobedience hijacked by the feminist lobby is praised by the courts and parliament. When men try it it is termed obstructing justice.
Lobby your parliamentarians and your unions. Begin with the builders labourers and the unions at the ports.
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Need for unity and reform - By:David Kallenbach from Queensland, Australia on December 29, 2017 @ 9:26 amThe current Family Law and the courts it has spawned is a system that finds legitimacy in the same morality, and logic that allowed Apartheid and Sharia to exist with impunity for all these years. It is legal. It is backed by legislation.
There are several men's groups advocating for the same causes as Father's 4 Justice but all of who appear divided and unable to articulate their positions in a cogent and effective way.
I am not writing with a view to condemning or unfairly criticising anyone or any group in this field but to point out what is instead missing in what is potentially a very powerful lobby out there.
Whats worthy of criticism though is the absence of practitioners amongst practicing male legal practitioners, unlike their female counterparts (some of it explainable through the heavily discriminatory practices of Legal Aid and other government agencies) and a political lobby to take this cause to our lawmakers in parliament.
If mens groups agree to meet and to speak with one voice, both sides of the great divide in government will and must listen or be held captive to the powerful women's lobby which in fact is funded by government.
The women's lobbies receive several millions of dollars each year in unioon and government funding and grants to fund academics (mainly women) to write scurrilous thesis supporting the hatred of men and the stereotyping of men which family court judges then make references to as erudite pieces of scholarship to support their distorted judgments against men and children.
The Liberals / Nationals and the Labour movement cannot in fact exist without men. The Labour party created the Family courts yet many men in "their wisdom" mainly disenfranchised fathers continue to support the Labour party through their unions (the lifeblood of the Labour party) in the most idiotic form of self destruction.
The economy continues to suffer from the results of the unequal distribution of the family nest egg and the burden of responsibility for the welfare of children in support of feminist theories supported by an Apartheid type of legislation and the general idiocy of men.
If you are serious as men and aas responsible fathers, then let your mates know about this and use this forum to generate ideas.
What is needed is for all mens groups to merge and put the union movement and government and the opposition on notice that men are on the march.
The purpose of stuffing more and more incompetent women into the largest employer in the country and elsewhere with 'affirmative action' policies (the public service) is to stack the union movement and to render men and their power there impotent and ineffective.
There are male lawyers willing to assist but yo need to be organized.
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Child Support - By:Jason TeWhaiti from WA, Australia on May 21, 2018 @ 3:02 pm2
Family Law Reform ~ 2018 - By:David Farmer from Herts, United Kingdom on January 30, 2018 @ 11:33 pm1
370. Child Support War - By:Thomas Read from New South Wales, Australia on January 22, 2018 @ 12:18 am4
Fraud of an Ex - By:James from NSW, Australia on February 5, 2018 @ 1:21 amSo How do I keep going each day even though I feel like I get knocked to the ground each week?
The way I see it my ex will eventually will get caught out and have to pay the GOVT back or do jail time, the kids will grow up and realize their mother did everything to keep them from their father and dragged them from place to place with no stable family setting and that she robbed them of that. When their 18 she will stop getting family tax and CS and have to get a real job, she'll be 45 no real prospect so Id say she will spend the rest of her life working some dead end job waiting for the end. And we'll I truly believe I will have my kids back when they turn 18 and their mother no longer getting money for them. As adults,I will have a stable home for them to come back to, I will survive the next 5 years and be able to enjoy much awaited reunion, I will be able to guide them as adults and show the right from wrong.
So I have a lot to look forward to in the future as for now, I will keep going on because I know that one day I will have my kids back, for now I will speak with then as often as I can, try get to see them a couple of times a year and always let the know that their father is here for them.
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Evidence in front of judge - By:Michael Buis from SA, Australia on November 12, 2017 @ 10:35 amSo far she has already managed to go on one holiday and has booked another. Her redundancy won't be enough to piss it away like that without us ending up picking up the tab.
Does anyone have any good tips to prevent being screwed in this situation? I took a screenshot of first holiday trip reference in case we need to defend a COA early next year. I plan to do the same with holiday 2 references. I don't work full-time so that I can pick up the tab for her BS. I have my own 2 kids to pay for. Just feels like when you live in a household with two CSA assessments running you are fckd. At least you are if you are 1)honest and 2) want to get ahead. The ex has done a COA in the past so we are dealing with one of those entitled types unfortunately.
Any suggestions greatly appreciated.
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REPEL GAY AGENDA IN EVERY WAY - By:JWS from W.A, AUSTRALIA on January 28, 2018 @ 8:03 pmMany may think this is paranoia but this is the final step to total corruption of our values and end of our society and family norms as we have come to know them.
Chaos & confusion will reign as identity is thrown to the wind. Distraction, debasement of humanity, depletion of wealth & loss of freedom & self determination will cease to flourish. Everything as we know it will be turned on its head. Our family heritage & genealogy will shrivel & become extinct in two to three generations.
Who is behind this sinister plot you wonder?
Whilst many feminists, man and traditional family hating trolls have infiltrated areas of government & key academic & other sectors of influence, the places to look for the real culprits of this latest engineering push would be those who would gain the most by the destruction of the normal man, woman & family unit.
The family unit, being the last bastion of hope, strength & salvation of our spirit, which has been under attack for decades, may eventually fall. The trinity -- Dad, Mum & child all gone. Hmmm...what's really at play here?
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The system - By:Grant Neale from South Australia, Australia on October 16, 2017 @ 12:26 amIm in the same boat as most of you dealing with CSA and the courts, im a fairly level headed bloke when it comes to this crap we deal with, if you are thinking on how to change things then you need to get behind your computers and start typing, i mean emails to politicians, emails to the DSS (Department of social services) they are the governing body on the legislation which creates this system. If all of us type our realistic problems without abuse :) then things will change. Dont be afraid to write to Pollies, i wrote an email to a conservative pollie and had a reply email in less than an hour with another reply to come and speak with him 3 days later. Just keep cool headed and think straight and keep it to realistic problems and it will work.
Im no expert im just a normal tradie!
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Ex hitting me up for school excursions - By:Barry from NSW, Australia on February 13, 2018 @ 10:39 pmI'm a newbie here but looking for an answer please.
My ex who I pay child support to, is hitting me up for extra stuff like school excursion fees. I thought child support was supposed to cover this and my ex duly budget properly for same. Am I being a bit mean spirited or reasonable in my concerns? Is there a legal opinion or formal answer on this? Obviously I will not let my young bloke miss out, but I don't want my ex thinking she can just hit me up for her poor financial skills (and she chooses not to work of course)! Many thanks.
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problems with family court - By:f4joz_mobile from wa, australia on October 16, 2017 @ 12:28 am1: even if a judge tells a mother "you have 21 days to provide the father with your concerns" she can "Legally" ignore that and wait till the 2nd court hearing to give her concerns.
2: even without any evidence against the father, the court cannot force the mother to do anything they can only encourage her to offer some care.
3: if a mother makes a false allegation against a father the court tells the father he can't sue her as he can only continue going to court.
4: legal aid only has enough money for lawyers to help his client for so long eg i am only getting 3 days in court with my lawyer but he told me you will need to be in court atleast 5 times b4 getting full weekend care plus school holidays! Thats not even 50/50 care lol
All 4 things were told to me in w.a. family court no bull shit!
If i had the money i could actually take this to the high court and organise a royal commision inquest with u.n. advice....these problems are actually against the rights agreed on at the u.n.
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Money grabbers they are - By:JohnnyBgood from NSW, Australia on July 19, 2017 @ 4:59 am